Animation : Armstrong-D.U. – Animatic Attempt: Pacing, Emotion, and Rhythm Test by Alex Olguin

P.D.: My goal is to build an animatic that can express the narrative and emotional level of the story beyond what can be read on script pages alone.

If anyone would like to use the animatic for study or creative purposes, you have my permission to do so. And if anyone’s interested in reading the full screenplay to learn more about the story, feel free to message me privately. I also have a couple of other projects in development:

->Dog’s Land: "In a neighborhood where cats and dogs clash over privilege, Spot, a dog displaced from his home, creates Dog’s Land, a place where dogs can live free. But Luna, the cat who took his home, plots to erase dogs forever. Their clash will determine whose world survives."

-> Lora, the Wayward Princess (script still in progress).

Hey, Alex Olguin. I remember you talking about Armstrong-D.U. on here. Glad to hear you’re building something to show what the story could feel like on screen! The video could help you pitch your feature script.

I think the camera flow and pacing are great! I think the emotional impact is great too, but maybe show something about Kevin’s life (something he’s struggling with, scared off, etc.) before he goes into the stall.

Maurice Vaughan Thanks a lot for the feedback! I really appreciate it and you’re absolutely right.

To give more context: in this scene, Kevin is on a boring school field trip. Feeling restless, he tricks a robot and lies to his teacher to escape under the excuse of needing the bathroom. Out of boredom, he starts playing around inside, which shows his hyperactive and imaginative personality and that leads to the incident where he discovers the robot that will change his life forever.

I’m planning to add more context before this moment, like an important scene between Kevin and his father who’s basically a version of Kevin that gave up and adapted to the Dome’s rules. That way, we can better understand Kevin’s relationship with his environment and his need to rebel or dream beyond it.

I separated the current animatic mainly to keep this first encounter with Armstrong more condensed and focused, but I’m definitely exploring how to expand it with those emotional layers. This is just one of several animatics I plan to make as I experiment with different ways to show the story.

Thanks again for the insight, it’s extremely helpful for me to know whether the tone feels right despite my lack of technical skill. My goal is to demonstrate the heart and cinematic potential of the story more than perfect visuals. Your comment really helps me figure out what to include next in the pitch package to make it feel solid.

You're welcome, Alex Olguin. Sounds great! I can't wait to see the other animatics, concept art, and feature film!

Dude, for not being a "professional artist", you did an amazing job Alex Olguin. It looks fantastic! Keep going!

Thanks so much, Leonardo Ramirez 2 ! I really appreciate it.

Honestly, I was worried that some parts wouldn’t come across clearly, so hearing that means a lot.

Thanks again for the support!

You're very welcome Alex Olguin. It was a fun watch!

Alex Olguin great job, this was cool to watch. Ease to follow. I also liked that you include audio as well and not just the animatic.

@Alex Olguin it's a great start and flows well and good camera selection. The pacing is a bit slow overall, especially when there is action happening. Easy fixes, just cut sooner and lessen the holds on some of the frames. Other than that you have a lot of great stuff going on.

Cyrus Sales Thanks. Despite the bad drawings I really tried to put all together as best as possible.

Bob Harper Thanks. I know little about these kind of details, this is why is so useful to see these kind of recomendations.

Thank you for all the help, it's really useful since, as I said, I have zero knowlegde about the propper way to make a movie, but as you can see I have a very clear vision on this. If anyone wants to know more about it I can share the script, just send a private message and I will be glad to share.

I commend you for putting that together, that's a lot of work! Thank you for sharing. My notes.. I'm not sure how to feel about the boy at the beginning, or why we are in the bathroom. Why he throws the wet toilet paper at the wall. What drives him to do it? Perhaps you can build more set up so I connect with him more. When I saw the robot, and the scan of the boys leg it reminded me of Big Hero 6. When the boy lands outside I spent a bit of time wondering what is this place, and why does it seem amazing to him? Feels a bit like we are jumping from action to action without establishing objectives. Perhaps also a pass on what you want the audience to feel along the way.

Jackie Tarascio Thank you! And yes, that’s something someone else mentioned to me as well. That’s why I’m working on more animatics from earlier moments in the story, to better explain what’s going on.

The main character, the boy Kevin, is a hyperactive kid who constantly does random things. It’s even established earlier that he once managed to glue another kid to a wall. He’s always getting into trouble because of his mischief and his tendency to do weird, unpredictable stuff.

In this scene, he’s in the bathroom because he’s trying to escape from a super boring school expedition to an important place. This happens about 15 minutes into the story, and with more context it’ll be easier to understand his motivations and his relationship with his parents, a mother who’s overworked and a father who’s morally defeated. I’m working on adding that context precisely because of what you mentioned: people need to understand the scene’s background. Still, I chose to start with this one because it contains the three key elements of the movie, an unstable kid, a sense of wonder and discovery, and action.

The society he lives in is an over-controlled one, where people aren’t allowed to do anything too stimulating. So imagine being that kind of kid, always wanting to do things nonstop, in a world where even making loud noises can get you arrested. On top of that, he has a disability that makes him feel even more isolated. Despite this, he refuses to let it define or limit him. The discovery of the robot becomes the moment that changes his life forever, finally allowing him to experience the adventure he’s always dreamed of.

Sorry for the long explanation, but yes, I totally agree with you. People definitely need more context. I shared this particular fragment because it’s one of my favorites (along with the ending), and I feel it’s the pivotal moment in the entire movie, the point where everyone’s life changes forever.

If you’re curious or want to know more details, just ask! I’d love to share more, since this is one of my most beloved projects so far.

Hi again, thanks for the backstory. What really stood out to me is "imagine being that kind of kid.. in a world". That's relatable. Kids with ADHD often get into trouble for actions and behaviors they cannot control. Which seems really unfair. I imagine they feel frustrated, ashamed, dejected, misunderstood, hopeless. A teacher that understands and accomodates can make all the difference, can show a kid that their "problems" can also be superpowers. I like the idea, congrats!

You described he's "trying to escape", and "feeling isolated". Maybe you can accentuate isolation in the bathroom. Reading what you wrote made me picture him coming into the bathroom, when the door is open you hear lots of people, and when the door closes with a loud click, there could be a defining silence. You might also try explore cam lenses that accentuate the feeling of alone in a space. Big space, singular kid. Lots of stalls, but he's the only one. Sound design could pierce the silence created from lack of others, drips of water, foot steps (that sound different because of his leg and crutch). Anything you can do to accentuate outcast (camera, lighting, sound, set design, contrasts). How does he feel once he's entered, what do you want the audience to pick up on? You mentioned he is mischevious and unpredictable in this strict society. So when he's holding the wet paper, what is he thinking? Is this a moment you could show his inner struggle with impusiveness? Does a hint of how he feels about this society come into play? Are these inner obstacles you could accentuate in this moment? Is he having sneaky fun when he throws or is he mad and releasing his pent up frustration? How akward is it for someone in a crutch to maneuver in a bathroom, use a paper dispenser, move around when holding the wet paper? Crawl into that hole? In a world that is not comfortable for him spiritually and physically, where do you want to showcase this?

Thanks again! Might need more panels to dig into these types of beats but great to have visuals and backstory to respond to.

Alex Olguin this was a really good attempt. I felt the story, my eyes were glued. I wanted more. I think you have a good eye for direction. Aside from just practicing and getting to the point where you can add more frames, I see nothing wrong with this animatic. It conveys the story, the movement and the pacing nicely. The polishes that would make it more industry level will simply come with practice and improvement.

You did a great job. The story is fascinating, and I am ready to see the animation.

Jackie Tarascio Actually, yes. I am planning to add previows scenes to add more important context, with that people should unerstand better the character of Kevin and how and why he interacts that way with the world. Thank you for the comment by the way, I really appreciate these kind of observations since it helps me to know and choose better what scenes do next.

Kevin Jackson Thank you, more than a finished job it's more of a concept test. I'm not a director at all, all I know is from the movies I've watched, despite that I wanted to test emotion, rithm and show how certain moments should feel. I have very limited resources, nithing more than free to use stock sounds and music borrowed from other movies, so I tried to do my literal best to convey the point of the film.

In the future I'll add more scene to keep testing and obtaining more material for a pitch bible, since I want to present this to someone who can help me take it to a real project. The script is fully finished too, so I'm just trying to breath a little more life to it.

Looks like a lot of work, are you at all inspired by the Iron Giant? Who is the boy, who would play him if you could cast someone or find a voice for the character? Who would play the robot?

Terence Daniels It was actually a lot of work, I haven't thought of acting jet, since the point of this is to just test how the events I wrote on the script actually work. I used music borrowed from other movies and I used free stock sound effects. I did what I could with the few materials I had at hand.

And funnily enough I was inspired by Terminator 2, when I was a child I loved the relation between Jhon Conor and the T-800 and I imagine the robot having a deep voice like the T-800 too.

Thanks for watching by the way.

Sylvia Melanson Thank you really. I did my best with the drawing. I'm not very good at drawing I had to teach myself to draw propperly to do this. But I'm glad you liked it.