Hello Writers,
Here’s how I lost and found, I mean - found and lost, the only agent I ever had.
A professional reader for one of my scripts (paid, duh) once told me that many agents are frustrated writers who became agents because they didn’t go anywhere with their scripts. And when they’re reading someone else’s stuff, they’re always trying to find mistakes to either make you write the way they think it’s done or just drop you right away. I thought to myself: Draw it mild! aka Gimme a break, dude!However, the agent I had seemed to perfectly confirm the cliché.
After I got zero responses from US agencies and only a few thank-you-but-no-thank-yous from English and German agencies, I began to reach out to reps on LinkedIn. Remember the professional-paid-duh-reader from before? - “Don’t do it!”Well, I did, and found this agent working for Bohemia Group, an agency with offices in Los Angeles, New York, London, Auckland, Berlin, Seoul, Singapore…
Her first reaction was something like: “Nah, not really interested but you can contact me again in a few months, you never know.” I did that, and she said something like the same. So, I did it again and finally, we scheduled a call.
During the call, she was totally utterly extremely fascinated by me – “You’re saying all the right things! You’re so nice! I believe this is going to work!” but she also said I was “One of those stray dogs begging for soup she just can’t say no to.” The call ended with her saying “I’ll put my magic coat around you to make you soar.” What she meant by that was to tell ImdB she’s representing me now, and by doing that would boost my rank.
My rank went up by the millions and I ended up in the top 220.000, which is ridiculous being a stray dog and all. Yeah, take that algorithm with a few million grains of salt. But she congratulated me and I thought this could be the start of something.
From a philosophical perspective, everything is the start of something… which does not necessarily have to be the first step on the red carpet towards delivering your well-prepared speech for the Best Foreign Film award.I posted that I am now a represented writer on LinkedIn, which led her to tell me I shouldn’t do that because she was just “helping, not representing me officially”. Um… What?! Well, I’m a newbie, I thought, so let’s just delete what I considered to be my biggest success to date.
The agent never read my sci-fi drama whose idea she said she loved so much. She complained about being CC’d when I was reaching out to A-List directors and actors to package the project, saying that was no good for her reputation because I was still a nobody. I understand, but why urging me to package my project but NOT telling me how to do it in the first place? Okay, I could have done my research, I thought. Maybe I didn’t think this packaging approach through enough.
Eventually, she read a script for a short film I wrote, heavily criticized it and called me a misogynist. That came as a little shock because it’s so totally utterly extremely not who I am. But when we talked about that script, I learned that she didn’t read it carefully and didn’t understand the message. So this time I thought to myself: that can happen. A script written by a man that dives deep into the psyche of another man... maybe a little hard to digest. But she didn’t even let me finish my sentences when I tried to explain the concept. So, is she a misandrist now? Of course she maybe isn’t… (Just kidding here.)
Then she said I should listen to her because she’s 20 years in business and she knows how it works because in these 20 years, she never sold one of her own scripts. And that is confirming the cliché AND not making sense at the same time!
Finally, she told me to reshoot a sizzle reel I created for an adult animation project. While other professionals liked the reel, I couldn’t reshoot it anyway because I lacked the financial resources to do so.
A few days after I only changed the description below the video according to her advice, she sent me a huge message via WhatsApp. Basically saying it was over because I was obstinate and my only chance to learn and progress was by experiencing failure and I would thank her for that one day.
Well, I could have just said this agent wasn’t a good fit but even my not-paid professional readers keep telling me to keep writing. ;-)
Yours
Till
2 people like this
Yeah, that agent definitely wasn't a good fit for you, Till Olshausen. A lot of red flags. Yeah, keep writing. You'll either find the right agent or you won't and you'll have success on your own.
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Maurice Vaughan Thank you! :-)
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You're welcome, Till Olshausen.
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To be perfectly honest after she turned me down and spoke to me like that the first time, would’ve went on my way. You want to work with people who are excited to work with you.
So many people will tell you that you have to take disrespect to make it and you don’t. You for sure have to be an advocate for yourself first and foremost
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I haven't dealt with agents or managers much. I had a couple for the novels, but they never worked out. One agent I had lived close enough for me to drive over and we got together one time, I think when he released me. The publisher I had was just as useless. I'll be honest, I think the things I write, novels, screenplays, are just like a half of a gear out of mesh with what people can sell. In my opinion, every agent, manager, publisher, producer has a sort of style, or sweet spot that they sell very well and people come to them looking for that, but if what you write is a half a gear out of mesh, it just doesn't work. They, at least, have always been kind and commiserate with me. I do have the comfort of almost everyone who has actually read what I've written find it engaging and well-written. That's enough for me, because I know that at some point, that half a gear out of mesh is exactly what becomes suddenly unique and new when the time is right.
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Cameron Tendaji Yes, you're right.
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Dan Guardino It's cool to let someone know when they've crossed a line, then see if they respect you for standing your ground. But if that's not part of your DNA, it sometimes takes courage, especially when a newbie hopes that big dreams come true.
In the end, I told this agent that insults are no basis for a working relationship... but that was after she quit. :-)
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Fascinating post and well worth a read by any aspiring writer. I wish people could see just what a wild west it is out there and how many people who are all hat and no cattle run rampant within it.
I wouldn't even talk to a rep unless they hunted me down like a desperate lover. That's what you need in your corner.
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Thank you Till Olshausen and so sorry that happened to you.
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CJ Walley Thank you, CJ. I heard that being "hunted down" is the sustainable way of landing representation. Although I'm not a fan of that often-read sentence: "You'll never find an agent, because they will find you." :-)
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Mark Deuce Thank you, Marc. I'm trying to consider bad experiences a way to learn and grow. Not always works I admit but the attitude keeps me going on.
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Till Olshausen the old saying is "when people can't believe you don't have an agent it's time to get one."
How that holds up in today's world, I don't know.