Two boys are trapped inside the house they are burglarizing when the owner brings her demon possessed daughter home.
Screenwriting : This log line feels off, how could I make it better? by Thomas Cummins
Other topics in Screenwriting:
Check out Trending Discussions
Register / Log In
2 people like this
Very good. Now describe what the protagonist does to achieve his or her goal.
2 people like this
Welcome to the community, Thomas Cummins. Your logline needs more info. It's just the setup right now. Something like: After breaking into a house to steal, two boys get trapped inside and fight to stay alive against the owner's demon-possessed daughter.
Here's a blog that'll help you navigate Stage 32 and make connections: www.stage32.com/blog/how-to-successfully-navigate-the-stage-32-platform-...
Also, I suggest adding a profile picture and a detailed bio to your profile. People will feel more comfortable networking and collaborating with you if they know what you look like. And if you have a picture, your profile will show up when someone searches for you. A detailed bio will help you build relationships/network on here. You could add things to your bio like why you became a screenwriter, your accomplishments, your goals, and what movies and shows you like.