Anything Goes : What myths were missed from this list? Do you agree with them? by Debbie Elicksen

“When you are young, traveling and working all hours are no big deal. But when you get older and have a partner and maybe even kids, the lifestyle that goes with working in production can be less appealing…” I strongly object to this gross generalization. Why the assumption that because a few more years pass, a person’s lifestyle has to involve a partner and kids? I love and need the flexibility a 20-something has and so do many others; because of this, we set up our lives and lifestyles to accommodate this need. Any suitable partner would have to understand and work with this. Someone who doesn’t won’t fit my goals and therefore is not a suitable partner. And plenty of people don’t want kids. More people than ever are choosing not to have kids, as discussed in a recent Time magazine article. Stereotypes like the ones conveyed in the sentence above hurt people like me, marginalizing us by creating a false expectation that everyone over a certain age wants “stability” rather than freedom. The last thing we need is a casting person looking down at us because we didn’t choose the “settling down” route.

"Settling down" is certainly a generalization given to typical expectations about life's choices and aging, but "gross" generalization? I think that statement is a bit over the top. :) I think it's more about gaining life experience and work experience. I have some friends in the biz and they have slowed down not because they do or do not have spouses/partners/kids, but because of pure exhaustion. After living out of a suitcase for years and years and years, it just gets tiring. Traveling 250+ days out of the year. The "romance" of the lifestyle wears off. Most just want a change of pace, an actual home rather than a hotel, to put their feet up, to reap the benefits of their hard work, and therefore choose jobs more selectively -- thus "settle down."

Everybody's experience is different. I do have a problem with the concept of "typical expectations about life's choices and aging..." as that invokes a sense of stifling conformity, as if everyone makes the same choices (exemplified by the word "typical") because a couple of years pass. This assumption can be harmful to those of us who don't fit that mold because casting people often assume that actors over a certain age automatically won't want gigs that involve unusual hours or a lot of travel. Some of us do! Please look at the individual, not at some demographic generalization.

This article was merely trying to make a point within the 10th myth about one's life changes, as well as one's possible change in priorities as one ages, using the unfortunate, typical ideas of "settling down" as example. However, the article's message was positive -- make adjustments, do not give up on your goals! Laurel, you have been discriminated against, no doubt. So sorry. These assumptions, or generalizations, about "settling down" are issues that affect all working women -- a subject worthy of complete discussion in and of itself. Not only have you experienced this issue, but so have women who do have children and often are discriminated against, or disregarded, because they are viewed to have too much "baggage," too many concerns outside of work. How can a mother work odd hours? Would if a child becomes sick and she is called away? These women are overlooked for a job, because of assumptions, and the job is then given to someone childless. What rubbish!! Single, married, working mother, career woman, full-time parent, childless, young, old, gay, straight, we women are constantly fighting generalized labels. But fight, we must! And will!

I love this list. When I was in university I often heard "Hollywood is like 100 parking spaces and a 1,000 people trying to park in them; go make your own damn spot." I think, tangentially to your list, I find building your path (YouTube, working on other crews, competitions) is just as valid as "breaking in."

That's excellent Art! I haven't heard that James Brown song but it I'll go take a listen now :)