Good start, Nicholas! I think my first question is is the hit woman our protagonist here? Is she going after the ex-detective and supermodel on her own, or was she actually hired for the job? Also, why is she going after them, what's the inciting incident that got us here?

Certainly sounds like this could be a cool piece, though!

OH! I see this has been adjusted! It's clearer that this assassin is, in fact, our protagonist & that's great. However, we'd love to know why she'd be playing cat and mouse with two waitresses, especially if they're not at all her intended target.