Tomorrow marks the start of production on The Shape of Kindness.
The camera is built, every battery is charged, the cases are labeled, color-coded, and ready. And for the first time in my filmmaking life… I’m stepping onto a set where my only responsibility is DP. That still feels strange to say.
For years, I was the team: writer, producer, director, DP, editor, sound, color, you name it. If something needed doing, I did it because there was no one else to do it. That instinct doesn’t go away easily, and stepping into a true collaborative environment has stretched me in ways I wasn’t prepared for.
These past couple of weeks have been “all hands on deck, all hours of the day.” Endless prep, meetings, camera builds, revisions, pickups, and making sure nothing slips through the cracks. Because of that, I’ve been a little quieter on Stage 32 than usual — and I appreciate everyone’s patience. Sometimes the best way to show up here is to get the work done out there.
This project has been a crash course in letting go of control and trusting the team that our producer assembled. Letting a director truly direct. Letting departments own their domains. And letting myself focus on one thing: the image and the emotional truth behind it.
It hasn’t been smooth internally. I’ve had moments of fear, doubt, frustration, and a few breakdowns.
Because when you’ve always held every piece alone, handing them off feels like giving away your safety net.
But the deeper lesson finally broke through this week:
Letting your team carry their part isn’t losing control. It’s creating space for the film to become bigger than you.
Tomorrow, other people carry the weight with me.
Tomorrow, I get to focus my full energy on light, blocking, lenses, movement — the reason I fell in love with filmmaking in the first place.
Tomorrow, the story becomes real because many hands bring it to life, not just mine.
So tonight, the nerves are there.
The excitement is there.
The desire to make something beautiful is definitely there.
But underneath all of it is something new for me:
Trust.
Trust in the prep.
Trust in the team.
Trust that shared vision makes stronger films.
Question for the lounge:
If you’ve transitioned from doing everything yourself to working with a full team, what was the hardest part of letting go? And what surprised you most once you did?
I'm really looking forward to seeing ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER, Pat Alexander! I saved this video to watch after I see the movie. Thanks for sharing the video....
Expand commentI'm really looking forward to seeing ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER, Pat Alexander! I saved this video to watch after I see the movie. Thanks for sharing the video.