(Please note that this is done as it would be a script for a comic, I have a background in comics, so I use comic terms for the script. I do hope to get this made as a movie or short TV show. I'm looking for feedback on the pages, if you can take the time to read and leave a review in the comments. replace panels with shot.)
Ch5 Pg 6
(Ch5 Pg6 Panel 1 - Full-Width Panel)
Garna, the giant, still towering over Garerit, now with a slightly puzzled yet hopeful expression. The giant has his hands resting on a huge, fallen pine tree, looking at Garerit with expectation. His body language conveys effort but also trust, as though he believes the tailor's small size could be an asset in his task. In contrast, Garerit is standing calmly next to the tree, looking up at the giant, but his posture is unfazed. His crossed arms give the impression that he is taking his time to consider the request before answering. The size contrast between the giant and the tailor is stark, making the giant's request feel comically disproportionate.
SB (Garna - Speaking, Dialogue Bubble): "You've shown cleverness, little man. Will you help me carry this tree? It is too much for one like me to bear. I need to haul this tree back and have it cut up for firewood before the night sets in."
(Ch5 Pg6 Panel 2 - Medium Panel)
Garerit, with a raised eyebrow, responded to Garna's request with a wry smile. He seems to be giving a moment of pause as if considering the giant's offer. There is a slight sense of amusement in his expression, suggesting that he might have an idea, but it also reflects tactical thinking rather than outright refusal. Garna's large hands continue to rest on the tree; the sheer size of it dwarfs the tiny tailor in comparison.
SB (Garerit - Speaking, Dialogue Bubble): "Hmm... You want me to help carry this tree?"
(Ch5 Pg6 Panel 3 - Close-Up Panel)
Garna is confused as he tries to process Garerit's words. His furrowed brow and wide eyes show that he's not sure what the tailor means, and he's eager for clarification. The tree trunk is still between them, emphasizing the disparity in size and strength. The simpler, more direct nature of Garna's character contrasts with Garerit's cleverness and more subtle approach. This moment is a key point of misunderstanding, where the giant believes the tailor must have misunderstood the task.
SB (Garna - Speaking, Dialogue Bubble): "Why yes, it is far too big for me alone!"
(Ch5 Pg6 Panel 4 - Medium Panel)
Garerit gives a knowing grin, clearly having an idea of how to turn the situation to his advantage. He steps slightly away from the tree, his hands still crossed as he eyes the situation. There is a sense of quiet confidence in his demeanor, which is a stark contrast to the struggling giant. The panel should feel like Garerit's preparation for a solution that won't involve brute force. The giant's back is turned slightly, as if he's waiting for Garerit to make his move, adding a sense of anticipation to the moment.
SB (Garerit - Speaking, Dialogue Bubble): "It's simple. We'll move the tree in a way you've never imagined before. But first, let's see if you understand the concept of balance."
(Ch5 Pg6 Panel 5 - Full-Width Panel)
Garerit stands confidently, with a grin on his face, as he gestures to the huge tree trunk. He directs Garna, the giant, who is now bending down and looking at the trunk with a sense of duty. The panel should emphasize the size contrast once again, showing the tailor's small figure and the gigantic trunk that Garna will carry. Garerit's posture is casual and nonchalant, clearly in control of the situation despite the physical disparity.
SB (Garerit - Speaking, Dialogue Bubble): "You take the trunk, Garna. It's big enough for your strength. I'll handle the branches. They'll be easier for me to carry!"
(Ch5 Pg6 Panel 6 - Medium Panel)
Garna, still holding the trunk, gave Garerit a look of confusion. The giant is puzzled but willing to follow the tailor's instructions. His brow is furrowed, and his eyes squint as though trying to process the logic behind Garerit's division of labor. This moment underscores the contrast in their thinking; the giant's approach is physical, while Garerit's is based on cleverness and practicality.
SB (Garna - Speaking, Dialogue Bubble): "You'll carry the branches? But... Why not the trunk?"
SB (Gerarit - Thought Bubble): "A little finesse is all it takes. Strength is not the answer—balance is."
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You're welcome, Meriem Bouziani~
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Banafsheh Esmailzadeh, I feel that deeply. Every time I return to Soul Mated, my first screenplay, drawn from my own journey, it overwhelms me. In the rewriting and polishing, I’m swept through the wh...
Expand commentBanafsheh Esmailzadeh, I feel that deeply. Every time I return to Soul Mated, my first screenplay, drawn from my own journey, it overwhelms me. In the rewriting and polishing, I’m swept through the whole spectrum: I cry, I laugh, I ache, I breathe it all again. It’s the only piece that leaves me utterly spent, yet alive in a way nothing else does. And now, five versions in, I finally feel ready to pitch it, proof of how much it has carried me, and how much I’ve carried it. So yes, I understand exactly what you mean, how a story can break your heart even as it belongs to you;))
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That's amazing Sandra Isabel Correia, and exactly what I mean :) I'm reminded of this one line I'm definitely paraphrasing from a novel I read in university, pretty sure it was from Mist by Miguel de...
Expand commentThat's amazing Sandra Isabel Correia, and exactly what I mean :) I'm reminded of this one line I'm definitely paraphrasing from a novel I read in university, pretty sure it was from Mist by Miguel de Unamuno, but I could be wrong (lol); "Hamlet made Shakespeare." That's definitely what happened with me and BoFS, maybe also what happened with you :) the best works are the ones that make you, not the other way around.
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Likewise Banafsheh Esmailzadeh :)) As you say and I sign: “the best works are the ones that make you, not the other way around.“ We aren’t alone :))...
Expand commentLikewise Banafsheh Esmailzadeh :)) As you say and I sign: “the best works are the ones that make you, not the other way around.“ We aren’t alone :))
Banafsheh Esmailzadeh Um..story of my creative life. I feel as I write, and it's just amazing when the connection is that strong.