I want to post my pilot screenplay, but I took it down. I suppose I'm scared? I'm proud of it, but scared to post it fully as I have dyslexia, and this is my very first screenplay! Any feedback would be appreciated. :)
INT. FARMHOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT
7:30 PM
Dinner. The warm glow of overhead lights. Rice, soup, grilled mackerel, banchan spread across the table. Steam rises from the bowls.
Areum talks animatedly about the hike, gesturing with her chopsticks. Sungmin actually engages, teasing her about her photography obsession. Hyunwoo and Soojin exchange pleased glances—this is what they wanted.
Nari lies beneath the table, tail swishing hopefully whenever someone drops food.
AREUM
—and then Nari jumped in the water and splashed everyone—
SUNGMIN
You pushed me toward the water!
AREUM
I did not!
SOOJIN (smiling)
Both of you were soaked.
HYUNWOO (to Areum)
Did you get any good pictures?
AREUM (nodding enthusiastically)
So many! I want to make a photo album.
SUNGMIN (groaning)
Please don't show them to your friends.
AREUM
Why not? You look cute with Nari!
SUNGMIN
I look like an idiot—
SOOJIN
Language.
SUNGMIN
—I look ridiculous.
AREUM (grinning)
Exactly.
Sungmin flicks a grain of rice at her. She squeals.
HYUNWOO (trying to be stern, failing)
Hey. Table manners.
But he's smiling. This moment—this ordinary, beautiful moment of family dinner—is the last normal thing that will happen in this house.
FADE TO BLACK.
HOLD ON BLACK FOR THREE SECONDS.
The ambient dinner sounds fade away, replaced by silence.
FADE IN:
INT. FARMHOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
11:03 PM
Darkness. The room is still, quiet. A digital clock reads 11:03, casting faint green light.
Soojin sleeps on her side. Next to her, Hyunwoo snores softly.
Everything is peaceful.
For now.
11:04 PM
11:05 PM
11:06 PM
The clock ticks over.
Then—
BANG.
Distant. Outside. But loud enough.
Soojin's eyes snap open. She lies frozen, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. Her breathing quickens.
Was that real? Did I dream it?
She glances at Hyunwoo. Still sleeping, still snoring.
She's about to close her eyes again when—
From downstairs: WOOF. WOOF. WOOF.
Nari's bark. Sharp. Urgent. Wrong.
SOOJIN (whispering, nudging him) Hyunwoo... Honey...
He doesn't stir.
SOOJIN (CONT'D) (louder, shaking his shoulder)
Hyunwoo!
HYUNWOO (jerking awake, groggy)
Wha—what?
SOOJIN
Nari's barking.
They both lie still, listening.
WOOF. WOOF. WOOF.
Insistent. Alarmed.
HYUNWOO (rubbing his face)
Probably an animal outside...
But even as he says it, something in his voice betrays uncertainty.