Screenwriting : Looking for feedback on two scripts by Caryn McCann

I provide paid feedback. You can check out some short samples on my website: http://lauridonahue.com/services/feedback/ I can also provide more detailed examples. For example, I recently did 20 pages of notes on a 100 page script.

Just added my log line and screenplay. Thanks in advance if you can give any comments. Cheers, Caryn

Careful of soliciting within threads. Not something we appreciate at Stage 32. Feedback screenwriters often seek is free peer review. Thanks. :)

Hi Beth, Thanks for your speedy feedback. What is the correct procedure to request free peer reviews? Thanks for your clarification. :)

You're just fine, Caryn! No, please ask away! That's what our community is all about; sharing ideas and supporting each other. My warning was directed towards those looking for paying clients. :)

Where can we go to read them?

Hi Jeremy, I believe if you look at my loglines tab - you should be able to see a link for the screenplay. Let me know if you can't find it. Cheers, Caryn

Caryn: I'll read the first five pages of Dragon Hunter and ten if I love it. I'll offer you some logline feedback now. Yours is twice as long as it should be. Consider the following: • Summarize your film idea in one to or two sentences, not a paragraph. The optimum length for a longline is 30 words +/- 5 words • Identify protagonist, antagonist; and these elements if possible: obstacle, goal, stakes and irony.

Get points. Thanks Phillip!

Caryn: You're welcome and I just gave you some script feedback on your first fives pages under your logline. Hope it helps.

I'll have a look and post some feedback :-)