Acting

The end of the year is upon us. Did you accomplish all that you set out to? Is there one thing you still haven’t done? As the entertainment industry takes a break for the next few weeks, we can find ourselves with little to do. Now is a good time to check out the Education tab and take a lab or webinar.

My challenge to you actors is to name one intentional step you are taking before this year winds down. Is there someone you need to reach out to? A post you can comment on? A webinar you have been meaning to take? Do you have a scene you want to work on? A monologue you need to polish? Find a local acting class? Is there one habit you have been building?

Please share it in the comments below. One small step leads to another and another. Let’s encourage each other to keep the momentum going.

This is a topic that I think is not covered enough. This is something all creatives experience. Actors, writers, directors, artists, et al. We all must find a healthy way of coping and dealing with rejection. We probably deal with reject more than acceptance and, I would say, we creatives experience more rejection than your average person.

When I go to audition, I try not to focus on not getting the part. I do my best and tell myself the outcome doesn't matter. If I am proud of my audition, I can let it go. Still, it has been heartbreaking when I don't cast for a part I know I can rock, I've played it before, and I know I blew castings' socks off. I am in a small pond, so if I didn't get cast for Lady M then who the f--- did? What did she do in her audition? Then, I go into, am I kidding myself? mode. If I can't get cast in a community theater then I must be deluding myself. Is this a sign to give it all up?

Also, there have been times, when I submit for an audition and I never get a response. No sides sent. Which means, I was rejected from even auditioning despite meeting the character description. How do I not take that personally?

That is my question for you. How do you handle rejection?

The ability to talk meaningfully with anyone is one of the most powerful and underrated human skills there is. It opens doors in business, deepens personal relationships, defuses conflict, and builds trust faster than credentials ever will. Yet most people treat conversation as something that should either “just happen naturally” or as a performance in which they must impress.

Both approaches miss the point.

The art of conversation is not about winning, performing, or dominating. At its highest level, it is about connection with intent, creating a space where another person feels seen, respected, and safe enough to be themselves. This is where the idea of the conversationalist becomes important.

A conversationalist is not simply someone who talks well. A conversationalist is someone who:

• Draws meaning out of others rather than pushing views

• Bridges differences instead of widening

• Builds momentum in stalled rooms

• Leaves people feeling clearer, lighter, and more understood

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What Conversation Really Is

Conversation is not the exchange of information. It is the exchange of meaning, emotion, and perspective. The people who do this best are rarely the loudest or the most impressive in the room. They are the most attuned.

True conversational skill allows you to:

• Build trust quickly

• Influence without force

• Lead without authority

• Learn without ego

At its core, meaningful conversation rests on one ability:

Genuine, disciplined curiosity about another human being.

Not performative interest. Not waiting your turn to speak. But real curiosity with the willingness to understand how someone else experiences the world. This is the spine of the conversationalist.

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Why Conversation Triggers Make You More Authentic, Not Less

Many people fear that having ready-made conversation lines makes them sound fake. In reality, the opposite is true.

Prepared lines:

• Reduce social hesitation

• Lower anxiety in new settings

• Prevent awkward, forced beginnings

• Free your attention to actually listen

A conversationalist prepares not to perform, but to remove friction to enable presence, not self-consciousness, but encourages the exchange. Like a musician learning scales, preparation creates the freedom to improvise naturally and effortlessly.

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The Universal Conversation Framework

Nearly every meaningful conversation follows the same quiet sequence:

1. Open with Neutral Observation

Not jokes. Not opinions. Observations feel safe.

• “You seem to know your way around this place.”

• “That was handled cleverly.”

• “You look like you’ve done this before.”

2. Invite Story, Not Status

Instead of “What do you do?” try:

• “What keeps you busy these days?”

• “How did you end up in that field?”

• “What do you enjoy most when it’s going well?”

Now you’re in human territory, not hierarchy.

3. Listen for Energy, Not Just Words

People reveal what matters through:

• What excites them

• What frustrates them

• What they defend

• What they fear losing

A conversationalist follows energy, not just logic.

4. Reflect, Don’t Compete

Avoid hijacking with your own story. Try:

• “That sounds like it carried real weight.”

• “You didn’t hesitate when you said that.”

• “That must’ve changed how you see things.”

People don’t want to be matched. They want to be seen and heard.

5. Add Value Only After Understanding

Only once rapport exists do you:

• Offer perspective

• Introduce humor

• Challenge gently

• Share insight

Depth is earned, not inflicted.

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High-Value Conversation Triggers You Can Always Use

Openers

• “What’s been taking most of your attention lately?”

• “How did you end up here?”

• “What surprised you most about that?”

Deepeners

• “That sounds like it was important to you.”

• “Most people wouldn’t say that out loud.”

• “That’s a big call — what led you to be that confident?”

Trust Builders

• “I hope I’m right, because it sounds like…”

• “Help me better understand this part…”

• “I hadn’t looked at it that way before.”

Conflict Softeners

• “We may be aiming at the same outcome from different angles.”

• “That’s a fair concern, here’s how I’m seeing it.”

• “I think we’re saying the same thing from different perspectives.”

The sentence opens the door.

The silence afterward lets the other person walk through it.

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The Importance of Being a Conversationalist

A true conversationalist becomes:

• A natural connector between people

• A pressure valve in tense rooms

• A translator between opposing views

• A catalyst for trust, alignment, and optimism

History celebrates leaders, inventors, and warriors. But long before actions shaped outcomes, conversations shaped decisions. The conversationalist operates upstream of power.

This is not a personality trait, it is a trainable and deliberate identity.

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How to Spot People Who Are Not Listening

(The Conversational Narcissist)

Not everyone in a conversation is actually in the conversation. Some are simply waiting for oxygen to speak again. Others convert every exchange into a mirror for themselves. These are the non-listeners and the conversational narcissists.

Here is how to spot them quickly.

1. They Don’t Build on What You Said

A listener responds to your meaning.

A narcissistic conversationalist responds only with:

• A story about themselves

• A bigger or better example

• A stronger opinion

If your point disappears without acknowledgment, you’re not being heard, you’re being used as a launchpad.

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2. They Interrupt with Confidence, Not Curiosity

Healthy interruptions clarify.

Narcissistic interruptions redirect.

They cut in with:

• “Yeah, but…”

• “No, listen…”

• “That’s nothing — one time I…”

This is a control mechanism disguised as enthusiasm.

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3. The Conversation Is Always About Them

You’ll notice a pattern:

• They like to drag the conversation back to being about them

• Their stories get expanded to fill a void

• Your questions get deflected as not relevant

• Their achievements get recycled or glorified

You will leave the conversation knowing far more about them than they know about you, and they prefer it that way. They will feel an achievement, while you feel time has been wasted.

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4. They Don’t Ask Follow-Up Questions

Curiosity is measurable.

If someone:

• Never asks “what happened next?”

• Never asks how something affected you

• Never checks whether they understood correctly

They are not in dialogue. They are in broadcast mode to teach you something.

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5. They React to Your Words, Not Your Meaning

They argue technicalities and semantics

They miss emotional subtext.

They respond to the literal sentence and ignore the human beneath it.

This creates endless friction without resolution.

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How a Conversationalist Deals with Them

A true conversationalist does not confront, they manage the energy.

They:

• Slow the pace

• Narrow the focus

• Reflect instead of compete

• Redirect instead of colliding

Powerful redirect lines include:

• “Let’s come back to that earlier point for a moment.”

• “That’s interesting — I’m still curious about what you said before.”

• “Before we move on, I want to make sure I understood you.”

If redirection fails repeatedly, a conversationalist also knows this truth:

Not every conversation deserves depth.

Some exchanges are for navigation, not connection.

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What Instantly Kills Meaningful Conversation

• Talking to perform instead of to connect

• Turning every exchange into debate

• One-upping others’ stories

• Signalling superiority

• Treating conversation as a transaction or negotiation

People rarely remember what you said.

They always remember how safe or exposed they felt with you.

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The Quiet Power of Conversational Mastery

Those who master conversation quietly become:

• Power brokers without titles

• Leaders without rank

• Influencers without platforms

• Teachers without classrooms

They win trust faster than experts.

They defuse conflict without dominance.

They move rooms without pushing.

Few skills are as universally applicable across business, law, family, politics, diplomacy, and crisis management as being a good conversationalist.

I spent my week leading up to Thanksgiving, doing a chat gpt self guided UFO themed tour based around my areas with a Welsh friend who hadn't seen most of Cali or Arizona before so she really enjoyed it. I am not even a big conspiracy theory or alien person but I thought the road trip would be a hoot. I'm someone who is always looking to try something, "different" over, "the norm" when it comes to anything in life. What are some of the creative ways you get yourself out and active during what's known as, "the slow season" for acting?

How do feel about a director being so vocal about his opinion on specific actors? https://ew.com/quentin-tarantino-trashes-weak-sauce-there-will-be-blood-star-11860944

Get up close with Brad Pitt, star of F1 The Movie, as he races a Formula 1 car for the first time with the McLaren F1 team in Austin, Texas!

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phZfIA9fAUM)

I wanted to share this fantastic interview with singer, songwriter, and performer EJAE, the singing voice behind Rumi in Netflix’s breakout hit KPop Demon Hunters.

Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f23ca4YSAXI

In this conversation, she digs into:

• Growing up as a K–pop trainee and spending over a decade in that system

• The intense pressure to be “perfect” in every way: vocals, visuals, personality, and public image

• How competitive training, constant critique, and fandom intensity can affect self-worth

• The emotional whiplash of finally having a hit and suddenly being seen, while still feeling more comfortable behind the scenes

• People dismissing her work as “AI” because the character is animated, and how painful that is when you’ve poured real craft and labor into every note

• Writing “Golden” and building a hooky, emotionally resonant song that still feels authentically Korean in both language and detail

There is so much here that feels relevant to actors and performers, especially around resilience, identity, and what it means to be “visible” in an industry that can be both beautiful and brutal.

I’d love to hear your thoughts:

• What part of EJAE’s story resonates most with you as a performer?

• Have you ever felt pressure to hide parts of yourself in order to be “castable” or “marketable”?

• How do you personally balance ambition with mental health and boundaries?

• And for those of you who work in voiceover or animation, how do you feel about the assumption that anything animated or stylized must be AI now?

Looking forward to hearing how her journey lands with you and how it mirrors your own experiences in front of (or behind) the camera and mic.

Can screen actors legally be considered private contractors? I thought the IRS rule says private contractors set their own hours and are self-directed. Actors don't set their own hours, and they are directed by a director.

You are largely correct in your understanding of the IRS guidelines: because production companies typically exercise a high degree of control over actors' work (setting hours, location, and providing direction), most screen actors should legally be classified as employees, not private (independent) contractors.

The Deciding Factor: Control

The IRS and state labor departments use the degree of control and independence as the primary factor in determining worker status.

Employees: A worker is generally an employee if the business for whom they perform services can control what will be done and how it will be done. This describes the typical actor-production company relationship: the director dictates schedules, lines, actions, and overall performance, meaning the actor has little control over the details of how the service is performed.

Independent Contractors: An independent contractor typically has more control over their own work, sets their own schedule, provides their own tools/equipment, and has the opportunity for profit or loss in their business. This is not the standard situation for most working actors on a set.

Real-World Practice vs. Legal Standard

Despite the legal standard, it is common practice in some parts of the entertainment industry, particularly in low-budget or non-union projects, to misclassify actors as independent contractors (paid via Form 1099-NEC instead of a W-2). This is often done to save the production company money on payroll taxes and benefits like unemployment insurance and workers' compensation.

However, this misclassification carries significant legal risks for the production company, including fines and penalties for back taxes and liabilities.

Exceptions

There are a few situations where an actor might be legitimately considered a contractor:

Loan-Out Corporations: Highly successful actors often form their own personal service corporations (also called "loan-out" companies). The production company then contracts with the actor's corporation, not the individual actor. In this case, the actor is an employee of their own company.

Unique Circumstances: If an actor brings their own unique equipment, supplies, and intellectual property rights to a short-term, non-integral part of a production, they might be classifiable as a contractor.

Specific Roles: Certain high-level roles, such as writers and directors (who are involved in overall planning and implementation), may sometimes be classified as independent contractors depending on the specific circumstances.

In summary, based on the IRS's control test, most screen actors working for a production are legally employees, even if they are sometimes incorrectly paid as independent contractors in practice.

Another nice new AI short (7') that explains a lot of the current state of modern AI moviemaking. Have a close look and let know what you think of this film, I am especially interested in what you think of the acting. 

To me the acting is on a scale between 0 and 10 a 6.5. The characters come across somewhat shallow at certain points, but I have seen worse in my life. I think with a little bit of extra work by acting and art department talent these performances can be made to 7 or 8. What kind of number would you give this acting performances? And as an actor would you be intererested in creating your own AI or virtual character?

https://youtu.be/YRVvFtTO86w?si=zF87FOFsZ5CwomGR