Hello everyone! I am new to Stage32 and still learning about it. I am also new to creative writing. I completed a sci-fi manuscript that got the attention of someone working in TV and suggested to me that I should think about a TV series. I am working under the guidance of this person on a pilot and the show bible of what has become a sci-fi mystery thriller...very challenging genre, keeping me quite entertained! I have a logline I'd like some feedback on. Hope this is the right place for this kind of questions. So...here it is: A teenage girl from the Arctic fights for the survival of her people in a world destroyed by global warning and where everyone else lives underground.
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Welcome aboard! I have wtirren a few TV pilots and one is a sic-fi/superhero fantasy adventure. Not an easy genre but fun worlds to develop!
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Thank you Kathryn, David, and Laura!! I look forward to know more about your projects :)
A lot of hard work I'm sure but the important thing is enjoying doing it and it sounds like you are welcome to the stage!
I've been on for a few days now. Its coming along.
I'm also relatively new to the site. But its a great resource.
Good luck on your project!
Thank you all for the best wishes on my project...anyone who can give me some honest reaction to the logline?
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Hi Stefania, I wish you luck too. Concerning your question about you log line - to be honest - I find a little weak. A log line should make the reader curious about what your story is about. It should be short, but can be in 1-3 short sentences. Like this here (the film is already produced years ago), which is a pretty long log line (actually already a little too long): "Three suburban teenagers play dangerous mind games that lead them on a collision course with reality. A charismatic boy leads his best friend and girlfriend on a dangerous psychic journey into confronting their innermost fears that leads them to ultimately committing a random murder." You see, you tell everything without telling everything. This is the only advice that I can give and I know how difficult it is to write log lines for your own stories. I think mine are always weak too.
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I think it is important which adjectives you use in your log line as adjectives touch peoples emotions and awake the reader's fantasy in a vivid way.
Elisabeth and Boomer...that's the kind of feedback I was looking for! Emotions...surmountable obstacles...the good and the bad! I will work on this and hopefully will have an improved version soon. Thank you very much for the honest advice.
I'm a sci-fi fan also.
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In a world destroyed by global warming one girl must fight for the survival of her people ,
Always welcome, Stefania. @Mike Roberts that sounds much better, but I think not convincing yet. Plus, it must be global WARMING.
;-)
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Sci-Fi is most certainly a challenging genre? I don't think many of the prod cos like it at all, I have pitched a time travel script for months to different execs and this is an actual TV company remark: "Should be set in the future. Time travel is tough. Echoes of other work in this genre that uses that device. Feels a little too familiar. Pass." I now pitch scripts as mystery and suspense - its difficult to make Sci-Fi stand out after all the Hunger Games and Dr WHO series. Your logline is too transparent just asking for a 'pass'. I would avoid global warming and anything underground, make the exec want to know more and then he may request your script.
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Sounds like a great concept! Small detail, the world is probably not destroyed, its just no longer going to support human life as we know it... Still, I'd like to see it!
I love Sci-Fi because I think it is a platform to show what could be if we as a species do not take care of the issues at hand. Glad to see a woman writing in this genre. Wishing you many successes.
Привет Стефания ! Как я могу прочитать синопсис Вашего сценария
Stefania: You are an AWESOME creative person! Looking for great things to continue to come from you! BTW: Do you know Marc Zicree? If not, you should...so message me if that is the case!
Good going... I wish you much success!
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Everyone....thank you for all your input and encouragement...I wish my exciting day job wasn't so time consuming and I actually had time to be on stage32 more often. I'll give it a stab at a second draft for the logline in a little while.