Screenwriting : Help! by C.m. Andino

C.m. I looked at your logline and it's really a paragraph. I rewrote a sample logline for you.

At the moment, the screenplay page says "not found". Beyond looking at the thing, the simple solution here is that you need to be more explicit. You use phrases like "a gnawing conscience", "his desires" , "a powerful urge to mix pleasure and violence", and " the demons that torment him" but these are all generalized, abstract and conceptual. WHAT ARE HIS ACTUAL DESIRES? Spell. It. Out. You should assume utter idiocy and borderline professional incompetence on the other end of your logline. HIT US OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR IDEA! Be fearless. And good luck!

Cut anything an everything that does not relate to the theme, story, meaning and style of what you're doing. 10 words can make a play work or not. Usually over written work is due to a need to explore characters and other elements of the work - and it simply means the process it is in, is not honed into a salable script in today's myopic market. That said, editing is an art in and of itself and can truly make a piece far better. The honing process of writing, is just part of the process. There is a point where you just say it's as good as you can do at this time - and that either flies, or it has flaws etc. It's all a process - even a finished work that wins awards could be rewritten indefinitely. Part of the talent and skill of editing yourself, is knowing when to say - CUT :)

C.m.. sent you a private message :)

Thank you all for taking the time to look at it. I had some trouble uploading the screenplay and ended up copying and pasting it. You've all given me something to think about. I already know that this screenplay won't sell. It's intended for the independent market because a movie about the human side of a serial killer and rapist just won't fly for most audiences. That said, I am working towards making it as palatable as possible while not compromising the story.

If you know what you're doing, you never ask for general help from a site. You don't know anyone here. If it's used as a marketing tactic to engage a business relationship - it's even worse. Anyone who would have the time to read your script here is not well connected, as those who are, have people asking them to read their scripts every day. Even when you get "feedback" 99% of it offers nothing to improve a script - it makes it different, not better. If you are persuaded to change your vision for theirs, then you may consider your original vision - was it really strong, real, something you cared about? Knowing your craft, and having a passion for your work and story is the basis of writing anything - what you say, how you say it is your craft, skill and talent merging into a whole called your script. Find people you can trust, who care or who you pay well that have real experience (I mean actual successes of quality films they wrote or directed or produced and 10+ years of experience) to give you feedback. Not a blog. 1 Quality relationship like that can make all the difference.