Hey everyone. I have just uploaded a log line for my copyrighted script. It would mean a lot if people could read it and provide me with feedback before I start pitching it. Just to reiterate it is protected by copyright.
Your Stage : Debut film script by Emily Mary Bianca Turrini
Debut film script
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Second sentence is a fragment, and I'm not completely sure who it's referring to the vampire or the hero. I assume the latter.
In general, it could be tightened up. Daughter of god thing might need a bit of an explanation. Disclaimer: I'm horrible at writing log lines.
Read the synopsis, sounds interesting.
Thank you both of you for your feedback, I shall address these issues today.