Not sure where to put this since it has something to do with directing I'm putting it here. I was on board to work with an indie filmmaker for something in TN as AD. Her assistant had already told me about the past attempt of filming and what had happened so on and so on this has went on for three days. So when I spoke with them I said look this isn't no ones business it's horrible indeed however we just need to focus on the production and not what happened before. Well the reply to that was who are you and what exactly do you want? I just thought it was highly unprofessional to discuss the prior situation it didn't involve me nor anyone I know.
Sometimes being the First AD is like being in a marriage with your director. Sometimes the relationship comes with baggage. If it's too much baggage, you either need to get out or be prepared to play psychologist for a while. If you're lucky you can get the relationship on track and the whole thing works out. If not, then nobody's going to judge you for leaving or being fired. I know plenty of Director/AD teams that part company and everybody gets to work again, if separately. If it didn't click for you, don't feel any regrets. Better to find a healthy team dynamic and move on.
But having been there, don't discount being the supportive team player that your director needs. As the AD, you're being invited into the inner circle and sometimes that means pledging allegiance by echoing disdain for whatever hindered your director before. On a feature, your loyalty needs to be with your director.
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David - try being a Producer in a relationship with a Director.