Filmmaking / Directing : No project is too small for anxiety by Francesco Reale

I think one of the greatest things that a filmmaker can face whether at the beginning of the career like myself, or a seasoned veteran, is the anxiety of making a movie. From the beginning to end anxiety should over come the body of a film maker. And that's a good thing! Might sound a bit ironic, cause even as I type this I wonder if I am just speaking out of line?

Some people that I have met, either on set or at a networking event, always say how the set was so easy going, the director was relaxed and calm, everyone had their shit together, yata yata yata... This makes me kinda annoyed, not because I don't like people being relaxed and happy, Of course! Be happy, be relaxed, do you, But for me, It just doesn't work.

When I think of a story, or I'm directing a short of mine, no matter how low budget, or small the project may be, I'm nervous, I'm anxious, I spend a lot of time to myself. Now, this in no way means I back away from a project or close myself in, on the contrary I have to open myself up to the cast and crew with this anxiety and fear in a modest, and honest way. Mind the little rhyme there.

I think that this fear of being an artist, a filmmaker comes about from not liking to let others down. I don't like imagining my cast, my friends, anyone who is apart of the project walking with their heads down, or thinking that this thing that they sacrificed their time for is one big shame. Especially the fact, when you are on a micro budget, you are calling in favors from friends, paying the guys with pizza and a ride home.

The anxiety to succeed is more than just a brief ego trip, its about the collective whole. As a filmmaker, you have to realize the world is much bigger than you are. People have families, that extend past your movie you as the director or writer have been tasked to make something personal and worthy of peoples time. Therefore, you can't relax, you can't be calm.

For me its about making something that people would like to say one day, that they did something cool, we made that from nothing! To do that I need to be on my A game, the heightened fervor of anxiety right in my core, driving me forward to make the best thing, at this moment of time, not later, now.

I guess, what I'm trying to say in this rant that is going on way too long is, am I alone?

How do you manage with this feeling, what drives you to make the best thing that you can with a leveled mind?

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Let's make some movies!