Screenwriting : Loglines eeeuugh by Freyja Seren (she/her)

You'll probably have an eclectic array of feedback on this. I'd focus on the human element but make sure that it alludes to the world the story is set in.

Maybe read through as many sci-fi loglines as possible on IMDB to see how they are formatted.

Good luck :-) I'd be happy to read your logline if you wanted some feedback. I'm still learning myself.

Hi Freyja... if you need some general assistance re: loglines, do get in touch. I could send you some help.

Well, you want the reader to be able to understand the genre. This could be done with a careful choice of words. You don't need to explain the details from your universe in a log-line, as this will probably sound too weird in a short description. Just make sure that the reader can understand who your main character is, what he's facing and the direction your story is going. I suggest you go to IMDb, check scifi movies and see their descriptions there.

Freyja:

Here's my standard logline example for folks in the forum:

For many writers, loglines are a serious challenge. I suggest several things. First, keep them around thirty five words or less, +/- five words. Think of your logline the same way you would if you were trying to craft a hit song. You have limited time to grab someone's attention.

For the goal of getting a producer/actor/agent to read your script, crafting a good logline is the first step in a process. The second step is getting them to read your synopsis. The third step is getting them to read your screenplay. Without performing the first two steps correctly, the third step is unlikely to happen. If your logline is bland, why would anybody want to read your synopsis, let alone your screenplay?

When you write your logline, a reliable method is to include protagonist, antagonist, obstacles and challenges. Then summarize your story in a sentence or two.

Look at this logline from the classic film The Sweet Smell of Success

A press agent, hungry to get ahead, is pushed by a ruthless columnist to do cruel and evil things, and is eventually caught in the web of lies that he has created.

The above logline is 32 words. It identifies the press agent who is a damaged protagonist controlled by the antagonist, a ruthless columnist. The logline tells you the consequences of the protagonist’s actions. This is exactly what you may want to consider when writing your logline.

Excellent Gustavo Freitas and Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal"

I basically have 30 words to make it visually clear to someone that this is a story that they should read. That's my goal, and my intent is to accomplish that any way that I can.

In a story with protagonists and antagonists, I show a protag/protags in a unique situation, and I show the conflict/conflicts that are thwarting my protag/protags from gaining the goal/goals. Ironies might be included, but are not mandatory. The protag/protags, conflict/conflicts, and goal/goals should be interesting and evocative enough to make someone say "yeah...I want to read that." Sometimes the conflict is an antagonist/antagonists, and sometimes it's bigger than a villain/villains.

In a different type of story, though - say a story about a particular period, an event, or a course of events, and that doesn't really work.in a protag/antag sorta way - my logline would be more reflective of the period and how that period contributed something - positively, negatively or a bit of both - to a particular time in history. Conflicts/antags/villains are not necessary, but stating the goal/effects usually is.

Best of luck to you, Freyja!

Nice point Nick Assunto - Stage32 Script Services

Setup, main conflict and contradicting B story.

Woof! Logline mire. I'm with you, Freyja, they get tricky. Less is always more is what I've been told. In other words, what Nick said.

Thanks for the responses. It's really interesting reading through them all!! I came from a fiction writing background so I feel a little behind the 8-ball with loglines. And they seem so simple! A good one is like a great dress - you barely notice the craft of it, and simply glory in the splendor (:

I'm getting the idea that I need to have a bit of faith int he intelligence of the reader to understand that things will be not be entirely natural or normal and then hope that I'm leaving them piqued and not confused. I'm searching for the element of the story that's universal; that could be lifted and laid into any kind of background, as opposed to the parts that are world-specific. Hmmmm.... Lots to thinking about.

Those of you who've offered help will be hearing from me! Thanks a million, I really appreciate it!!