Hey all. I've put together a logline and summary for my newest story and I'd love some feedback??? Please and thank you?
LOGLINE:
Rose Kerrigan, a teenage girl with budding psychic abilities that she views as a curse, has to stop the ghost of a satanic teacher from haunting and manipulating students to hurt one another and from bringing about the ultimate return of The Jersey Devil.
SUMMARY:
Leedsville High School in NJ has a problem; it's cursed by the Jersey devil. Now, aided by the ghost of a satanic teacher, the devil intends to return. Rose Kerrigan, the girl with the spooky wifi, is the psychic student who’s doubly cursed. She not only despises her ability, but she’s caught glimpses into the dark halls, and deep wells of the devil’s plan. Her visions lead her to the midst of a satanic coven, and to the secret underground catacombs of the town itself. Along with her group of friends, they simultaneously deal with demonic forces, their own jealousies, social media attacks and failed romances. Worst of all, one of her friends has been chosen to personally bring about the Jersey Devil’s rebirth. With evil poised to spring from every corner, hallway, and locker, Rose has to survive ghosts, devils, students and even her friends if she intends to stop The Jersey Devil and save the school.
Is this more of what you meant?
Rose Kerrigan, a teenage girl with budding psychic abilities that she views as a curse, has to stop the ghost of a satanic teacher from haunting and manipulating students and from bringing about the ultimate return of The Jersey Devil, the demon that has stalked the Pine Barrens of South Jersey since before the settlers arrived.
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Yeah, it's great. Hm, that's interesting about the name thing... I think you're right. Thanks again!
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An angst ridden teenager plagued by her physic abilities, uncovers a demonic plan unfolding in her high school. She must overcome her own demons to save her fellow students before the Jersey Devil can be set free.
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everyone is better at this than me. lol
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Not so it's just really hard fitting your own concept into a few lines Brian. I can't do mine at all.
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Thanks Karen
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You are in good company here at STage 32 Brian Elias Happy Networking!
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This is all great stuff. Thanks to everyone!
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Just another suggestion, from someone late to the party. :) - When intrepid teen, Rose Kerrigan, finally embraces her psychic gift, she'll forge a battle for souls against satanic forces intent on unleashing The Jersey Devil.