Your Stage : Log Line struggles by Jessica Hebda Lawson

Hi Jessica,

No disrespect intended, but the LBGT+ part almost sounds like an afterthought to the medical matters part in the way it's currently worded. Part of me could almost think it's even unnecessary, but I understand how it's probably a big part of your documentary, too, and also if you are trying to appeal to the LBGT+ community with that information in the logline. In that sense, it's almost like two documentaries in one.

I know you have a lot of different facts in that current logline that you are trying to convey. I might try to combine that LBGT+ part in my introduction to Lissa, like:

Lissa Sears, host of "Gays of Our Lives", a web-series which expands the understanding of LBGT+ matters to new communities, also lives with MS and is a breast cancer survivor. (DOCUMENTARY NAME) chronicles her battles to improve stem cell research and treatment, and to increase the legalization of medical marijuana in areas where it is still prohibited.

Or something like that. Again, no disrespect intended. It certainly sounds like an interesting and important story to tell.

Best fortunes in your creative endeavors, Jessica!

Thanks for the thoughts Bill! I can see what you mean. It wasn't supposed to be an after thought I actually put the Actor/Comedian in front her name in the first sentence to try to tie in the part about her hosting a talk show in the last one. The film will run two distinct stories, one about her personal life and medical issues and one about her working at being a comedian and going to auditions for acting roles.. Obviously they will over lap in areas and that is how we will go from one to the other. I want to be careful that we are telling her story. She isn't someone who is just dealing with MS and who won the fight against breast cancer. She is someone who despite her body constantly betraying her is still determined to live her best life and go after her dreams. She won't stop looking and fighting for solutions. She is a lesbian and thought her life she has been involved with the LGBTQ+ community so that will be a part of it as well that we need to have in the film.

I appreciate your input and thank you for the help and ideas I will look at reworking it.

A cancer survivor and comedian Lissa Sears, embarks on a comedy special advocating new therapies and changes to legislation while struggling with MS and shining a light on LGBTI communities - “Gays of our Lives”.

Message me, I’ll send you my book “Logline”.

Hi, Jessica. After seeing your additional comment above, I would suggest keeping it very short, simple, and to the point, you know, like a typical documentary logline.

TITLE?

"A documentary following the life and career of Lissa Sears, actor, comedian, LGBTQ+ social commentator, activist, multiple sclerosis warrior, breast cancer survivor, and host of the web-series Gays of Our Lives."

Keep in mind a great title, great visuals, and a great tag line will add tone. It all works together. Simple information at the logline. A short synopsis, perhaps on a website or campaign, etc, will expand more about the film. Hope that helps! ;)

Tile is “Stand Up/Fall Down Comedy” a little bit of a play on her career chose as well as the MS, you all have been extremely helpful

Lose the last sentence. It's not a bio, it's a log line. What's the story only.

Thanks for all the input everyone, I really appreciate it. My producer and I are working on revamping the longline and I will post what we come up with.

Actor/comedian Lissa Sears is a multiple platform advocate for stem cell therapies, medical marijuana and LGBT+ issues who also juggles/deals/copes daily with the effects of MS and being a breast cancer survivor.

Love all these thoughts and suggestions. I am trying to combine them. What do you all think of the Lines below?

Follow breast cancer survivor/MS warrior Lissa Sears as she explores the options of stem cell therapy while pursuing her dream of becoming an actor/comedian and advocates for the LGBTQ+ community and the legalization of marijuana.

Breast cancer survivor Lissa Sears explores the options of stem cell therapy for her MS while pursuing her dream of becoming an actor/comedian and continuing to be an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and medical marijuana.

Hi, Jessica. Well, do not use "/" between breast cancer and multiple sclerosis as they are two separate and different diseases. Probably should spell out MS too, not everyone may know what it stands for. Both loglines are really loaded with a lot for a reader to absorb—as Lissa has a lot in her life! Again, I'd keep it simple. Since you start both loglines with breast cancer that makes me assume that is the main focus of the documentary and Lissa's life. If not, if the documentary is about Lissa herself then which of the many things in her life is HER main focus? How does she describe or define herself? Is she an advocate first? Does she put the LGBTQ+ community first? Or does she first define herself as an actor and comedian? Or as a cancer survivor? Just for example only, in my version above, it puts HER first—life and career—and then lists all her different aspects and labels and interests and pursuits. For all logline versions, I'd suggest reconsidering which is her main focus to her life, how she defines herself and the film's main focus, and then perhaps construct and re-arrange the many things in her life in order of their importance to both Lissa and the film. Also, ask yourself, do you really need to mention everything at the logline? Could you add a tiny hint of comedic attitude?—why I added "warrior" above. How can you simplify? Maybe Lissa has some funny way of how she talks about the many battles in her life, dunno? Anyway, hope that helps! Good luck!

Thanks again for the thoughts. I will work on it more, but I am trying to make sure everything gets into the log line because the documentary will touch on all these subjects which are all potential things that could help us get funding. We are not fully funded yet and I want to make sure everything is in the log line. Not a single one if these things defines her as a person. They are all a part of who she has become but she doesn't let any one thing define her. The stem cell part of the show might be a bigger or smaller part depending on if she decides to go through with the stem cell therapy. The breast cancer part is one that we will focus on as we tell her story and reveal what kind of person she was both to her friends and the people she met but then also to herself. The medical marijuana part ties in to both the cancer and the MS. The main point of the documentary is to show that no matter what life has thrown at her, the MS and then the breast cancer, Lissa will continue to live her best life, determined to thrive no matter what. She going to continue to look for answers when it comes to MS. She is going to continue to try and get people the help they need from marijuana as a medicine. She is always going to have time to talk to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer and try to lift their spirits. She is going to continue to try and educate herself and others about the LGBTQ community and who they are. She's doing all these things which are important to her while trying to follow her dream of being an actor. Really the most important thing to her and that the documentary will show is that you don't have to just accept things the way they are. You can decide to fight for change and defy odds.

All the best.

I have the same problem! I am going to post it to!

A thought.... “Surviving breast cancer and battling Multiple Sclerosis, Comedian/Actor Lissa Sears, now fights for increased stem-cell research, legalization of medical marijuana and greater understanding of the LBGT community, via her web-series “Gays of Our Lives””.

Just my two cents. “Linda Sears defeated breast cancer but still battles with MS and now campaigns for advancement in medical ethics, along with better understanding of social issues. Meet her in her web series Gays of Our Lives.”

Hi, Jessica. Ah, okay, I see. Then lead with that "lives her best life" angle in your documentary logline. Maybe something like:

Fall Down Stand Up

Fighting for change, beating the odds, and striving for more, comedian Lissa Sears lives her best life as a breast cancer survivor, multiple sclerosis warrior, advocate for medical marijuana, and as an activist and social commentator for the LGBTQ+ community.

Hope that helps!

Maybe something like -

“Gays of Our Lives" is a web-series and talk show that celebrates the triumphant true story of Actor/comedian Lissa Sear - a breast cancer survivor living with MS, as she brings hope to others dealing with similar issues, and advocates for cutting-edge medical treatments.

If you need to trim something from the top version, I'd drop the last sentence, since it's self-evident, given the title. :)

Jessica, I am NO screenwriter but as a director, your logline sounds too complicated to get my head around. Do I need to know she is gay ? Couldn't that evolve as the story unfolds. I get that she is struggling with health issues and an advocate.

Lissa Sears, a woman in a struggle for her life against ravagings of breast cancer and MS, is racing against time to see stem cell therapies become a reality. She is increasingly more fearful of arrest as she has to find ways to illegally purchase medical marijuana.

She's not actually afraid of being arrested as she isn't doing anything illegal. She uses CBD oil while in Indiana and will use the medical marijuana when she is traveling or in other states where it is allowed. Less exciting I know but we also don't want to be a part of any illegal actions and neither does she, a lot harder to advocate fro something if you are arrested, also wouldn't be able to get insurance for our film if we were part of any illegal activities.

Here is what we have come up with:

Follow the life and career of actor, comedian, LGBTQ+ activist, medical marijuana advocate, breast cancer survivor Lissa Sears as she decides whether or not to undergo stem cell therapy for her MS.

Thank you everyone for your input and advice