Screenwriting : Writing loglines: The First Important Step. by Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal"

I'd love suggestions on improving my loglines! Please read and comment on mine, if you're so inclined!!!

It is a very hard skill to learn. It is made even more difficult as we strive to add more and more complexity to our stories.

Then a logline has to be the short and the quickest way to explain your story.

The biggest mistakes I believe people make are:

Leave it with a question. The “what will happen next” approach.

Making it a marketing tool “in space no one can hear you scream”.

Focus on the inciting incident and first act. All set up, no story.

Craig is right, most of them are not much more than taglines.

Roxanne if you want a good review of your logline, go to www.logline.it

If Rigiev, Nir Shelter, or DPG can't help you, nobody can. They reviewed thousands and thousands of loglines. But it is not guaranteed they react.

I hesitate working with new writers now because so many come with an attitude.

You gettin' better now Uncle Phil?

A logline is what opens doors.

It can also point out the story problems in your script.

In my book on Loglines one of the chapters is an expanded version of an article I wrote for Script Magazine after being on the Pitch Panel at the Raindance Film Fest in London a few times. When you hear 100 three minute pitches in one night, it becomes obvious what the story problems are without even reading the script.

I think the same thing applies to Loglines.

Often the problem with crafting one comes down to a story that has problems... which suddenly become huge problems when you are trying to sum up the story into a single sentence or two.

When someone asks "What's it about?" you need an answer that allows them to have a clear idea of the story is... Act 1 and 2. The main conflict.

And it has to sound unique and interesting.

Not easy. But possible.

I can't get past the fact that someone tried passing 72 words off as a logline?! How long must their script be? 250 pages? Yikes.

But, to be fair to dude, a bad logline doesn't always equal a bad script. It's just another part of the craft to hone.

I don’t think salary Readers see or read loglines. They just read scripts and write their own loglines & coverage.

But you need to write compelling loglines to get on reading piles.

Anyone reads scripts for a living at an agency or Prod Company? Do you see the query letter w/ logline that got the script requested?

Richard:

No. I had somebody repping me.

Congrats

Phillip, you did the right thing concerning the writer behind the 72-word logline. (Me, I've learned that if I can't create a logline that needs no more than 35 words, I've got to change it until it's got 35 or fewer words. After all, we're trying to submit our work to people who face time crunches of their own...even right here in the Coronavirus Age.)

Congratulations on getting those two reads off your logline of a few weeks ago.

You STILL rock, Phillip! All the VERY BEST to you!

Phillip is the master of loglines. :) He's helped me a lot in the past with both fixing and understanding the logline better.

Brian: Thanks for your kind words.

Isn't it funny how when someone asks you to improve something, then they're upset that you improved it by cutting words? I think everyone can learn something from your message. It's substance, not quantity.

Debbie:

Thanks!