I just uploaded my recent short script (14 pg) titled Passin' Thru on my profile page. The theme has to do with letting go the past in order to move on. It's basically a first draft I'm working on increasing the conflict between the two primary characters and pumping up the arc humps a bit but I want to hold it to 18 pages if I can. I've changed the script format somewhat – I've inserted a banner page with the character descriptions right after the title page and not within the script proper – mostly for Casting and to save a little more story development space. Does it make an easier read or a harder read?
Interesting; I ask a little favor...CRICKETS. This networking thing seems to only go in one direction. So, what good is it?
Hey, Doug Nelson. I'm about to read your script. I'll send you the feedback. Can you message me your email?
Doug Nelson I am reading now. My impulse is also to put a page with the characters, when it is a short. For me, it works. Easier to read when I have a clue who the characters are.
So far, it reads well to me. I do have some minor notes and editing points, will email them to you tomorrow.
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Hi, Doug. In my case, I like to read at least something of each character within the script. For example, about BRET you may put his age like (27) after his name appears for the first time. Then, "dressed in black and white clothes" is an option without being very specific. The 50's era tie is a nice detail I'd like to know (if he's the only character wearing something from that era). It's useful to create the character in my mind. And I don't know whether a potential producer will read this page you wrote apart from the script, sincerely. If you consider this recommendations useful, you could apply them for every character.
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Maurice - I'll send it to your address in a moment.
Putting character descriptions/visuals at the character intro has always been the way of doing it (and I've done it that way for years) - but I'm trying an experiment here. It's gone out to a couple of festivals like this, so I'm gonna see what their readers think.
Thanx one & all, Doug
Dan - this is an experiment to see how readers react; I've historically inserted character descriptions at their first introduction and I may go back to that (I'll let you know). I do need more conflict between Bret & Mary Ann and that visual difference may be the source - don't know yet. I'm glad you found it to be an easy read. Pay attention all you beginning/wannabe screenwriters in here. This script has its weaknesses, flaws and strengths but is a good example of how you write a 'spec' script. Show us your work!
Doug Nelson You could do both. I.e. have the page with the descriptions, but also remind the reader sporadically in the script, by making reference to her skirt swaying etc.
Doug Nelson I sent you an email this AM to the email address on your title page. Just FYI.
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Feels like a rhetorical question, but... What I think does not matter. What producers think does. If you're going to produce, I don't see the problem. especially if this extra info makes things clearer for you (and partners in crime). If you want to sell it; producers normally do not want 'extra info' (because of whatever reason).
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Doug Nelson , definitely an easy read, and the unconventional character introduction does paint vivid and apt images — I presume you know you can get away with it. The exposition does a great job on their past throughout, I found myself wishing the excellent push pull hinted at in the logline as the stakes, kicked in a little earlier and for lot longer, as you had a conversation going already... fwiw. Kindly be generous if this sounds ridiculous, please let me know though.