Your Stage : New promotion tease for Black Magick Man by George R Patton

Very nice. A couple comments:

(1) "If you could live forever, could you love forever" is the hook. It should come quicker.

(2) It is, however, clear what the story is. That's very good.

(3) Way too much repetition in visuals and too long to get to the point - I would literally cut this by at least 30% in length, maybe 50%.

(4) Unfortunately, your first and therefore most significant line at ~6 seconds in misspells "marriage" as "marrage" and coming at the very first is distracting and will put many people in the wrong mood to follow along. Fix that first, then tighten it up and it will be much more effective.

Thanks, will do.

George - I just saw it today. I agree with Shadow's observations and I'm pretty much put off by the continual pulling in & out.

Doug, and to anyone not familiar with iMovie, it is a template, you add a couple of ingredients and the Algos do the rest. The indescribable sereindipity is that I found an actress the image of my great aunt - dressed in 1920's garb, in a mansion similar to my comic book conception! It is designed as a Teaser for a pitch, so I really appreciate the viewership as I need the #'s. By the way, they are both named Eva! Here is the original Eva (below) at 110; wife and star of Black Herman, America's First Superhero.

George R Patton Doug's/my observations are one reason you should not use templates and algorithms. This is basically an assembly but it's certainly not something you should be using as a teaser. Any pitch materials need to be very polished and focused. Because your skills will be judged on the basis of what you choose to show.