I wrote a script about our teaching experiences, but I didn't know what I was doing. There is good, funny, crazy material, but the story (three-act structure) needs help. It's also 240 pages. We have been thinking about which direction to go. We love Reno 911 and think our film could be something like that in a middle school. One idea is to turn it into 5 episodes. The current script goes through one school year. Our school was a big school that was targeted for takeover under No Child Left Behind. If we didn't make it on the test, "they" were going to fire all the teachers and reopen the school as a private school.
We are still teaching, so we don't have much spare time. I have been working on this for several years. I put it all together during the lockdown and submitted it to Stage 32. I got some great feedback. The script consultant said there is a great satire film buried in the script. He recommended to do a biting satire that takes aim at education.
Okay, great!
Help!
1 person likes this
Great to meet you, Vincent Leighton, and welcome to the community! Awesome idea, by the way. I taught film and television production to high schoolers for a year, and it was eye-opening for sure.
In regards to your request for help, a few things.
1) I think you should find other comparisons to your show, as Reno 911 is both a TV show and has spin-off films. It's clear that you intend this as a "Workplace Comedy", which is a very specific genre. But why not The Office? Or Superstore? Plus, Reno 911 has some adult humor, which you probably don't want to mix with middle schoolers as you'll lose your younger audience. If you want to keep the adult humor, then I would suggest adjusting the idea for high schoolers so you can keep your audience 14+ (kids watch the next older generation, so kids 8-12 will watch middle-school-aged characters)
2) Have you put together a pitch for your screenplay as well? I would highly recommend using Stage 32's free Pitching Guidebook to help you structure your pitch, whether it is a 2-page pitch document, a 5-minute verbal pitch, or a 15-30page pitch deck: https://www.stage32.com/sites/stage32.com/themes/two/pdfs/happy-writers/...
3) Yes, definitely consider making this into a series. But before you dive into changing your format from a 240-page feature to a 30-minute pilot, use your pitch to outline your pilot and your first season. Make sure you like it before you invest time in re-writing the pilot
And finally - what kind of help would you like? Do you want to do a script exchange where you get notes in exchange for giving notes? Do you want a ghostwriter to create a treatment of the potential new series? Do you want a writing partner you can work with? The more specific the ask, the more likely you can receive what you want.
I hope that helps! You can also scroll through the Screenwriting Lounge (https://www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting) if you have questions about your scripts, or the Producing Lounge (https://www.stage32.com/lounge/producing) if you have questions about your pitch.
If you want another opinion hit my dm’s
1 person likes this
I agree the premise sounds good. A school given an ultimatum. It could be a comedy, it could be an inspirational drama. It has the makings or a good underdog story and for all intent and purposes it's a true story which is also a great hook. But man, 240 pages!! I personally would not go down the 'series/episodes' pathway but that is just me. I don't have the skills for that sort of thing but others here might say a series is the way to go. I think it is easier to sell/option as a stand alone feature. For me, you gotta get that thing down to 90-110 pages. Really strip the story back and just because it is a true story doesnt mean every single verbatim thing has to go in and you can even have things that were not true in the story to help drive it along or a character along. The premise is great and there's a story there. But you need figure out that story and what story you want it to be - a satire dig at education system or a story about people coming together or is it about the kids or the teachers? Is the antagonist a person or the system?
Anyway, You got something but you gotta get your pick and shovel and mine it.
This sounds awesome! We are re-watching Reno 911 right now! Haha
Two hundred and forty pages is great! Well done! I always trust my initial gut feelings as to what the project will be. I would run with it as you planned and see what you get! Good thing is you’ve got the research side covered as far as content. Good luck!