Screenwriting : Rejection Should Be Like Water Off A Duck's Posterior by Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal"

Great advice (again!), Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal".

Maurice:

Thanks very much.

You're welcome, Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal".

Definitely! Don't expect everyone loves your writing as no one likes everything they read. Just move on, keep going and you will get there! It took me a long time to finish and publish my novel, find an agent and get a publishing deal. But I never gave up!

Oscar winners G Del Toro and Spike Lee have said publicly they have over 15 finished scripts each that they cant get funding. This is a tough occupation to make it a career.

I've come to learn that, ideally, you need balance passion and professionalism.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling angry, upset, and hurt by rejection. That's a logical response born out of desire. It's important to allow ourselves to both feel and process those emotions.

The big difference is how we communicate that feeling. The pros I know are so good at saying "well, that hurts my heart" or "I'm disappointed" or "that's going to take me a while to get over". They come across as more human for it with a vulnerability that reminds you how much the opportunity matters to them at an artistic level.

The danger is adopting a corporate mindset and thinking you have to act like a worker bee to gain respect. I see this pushed on amateur screenwriters all the time, particularly by people who don't actually work in the creative arts and come from a Wall Street type background. Lots of telling people they need a thicker skin and more of a grind mindset. When they say jump, ask how high, etc.

I feel that coming across as dispassionate in the face of rejection is perhaps even worse than coming across as a bit pissy and sullen.

Of course, dealing with rejection internally is tough and I'm so tired that the only advice out there seems to be to just suck it up. I've read enough biographies and history books to know that all my heroes took rejection like a cold knife to the heart and weren't afraid people knew that. What matters is how you move forward.

It's the hope that kills you though and few creatives realise that. The amount of rejection you feel tends to be directly linked to the hope you attached to the opportunity and hope, especially when you're naive, is often a little more than a rose tinted fantasy. One of the great things a lot of rejection teaches you is that not only should you be careful what you wish for but also that you create a lot of your own opportunities. There's plenty of bullets dodged in my past and I tend to be less worried about the future these days.

So yeah, be human, feel the pain, communicate with others, and try to do it in a way that's mature and balanced so that you are both respectful and respected.

True. Statistically speaking, the more pitches you send the higher the chances of getting fewer rejections.

Dan G: Good counsel. I always thank the reader before and if possible, after they review my submission; no matter what the outcome.

CJ Walley: Good post. I've been doing this for a while too and I certainly take no masochistic pleasure in receiving a pass. But I sure as hell don't take it like A cold knife to the heart, but then again, I'm not F. Scott Fitzgerald or Ernest Hemingway. If someone wants to take rejection and personalize it so deeply, have at it. I take what some may consider a more stoic approach, but usually, I review passes in my mind for several minutes and may mutter to myself for a few hours while doing other things. I occasionally discuss rejections with my wife (poor thing) and or a good writing friend. Beyond that, I don't require much time to process and move on to other things. Having had a real estate license in California and now in Texas, I look at screenwriting much the same, it's a number's game. The more positive energy and effort I make, the better my chances are for success. And lately, that's been paying off. On an emotional level, We're all built differently.

Hardy, drink more :) fuel for great writer-alcoholics

Great reminder. I need to build up stamina for rejection and take from what is said what can be used to improve the next pitch. :)

So many writers get offended and hurt by rejection. Think of the calls you get trying to sell you something, or emails trying to get you to buy something.

Are you caring and gentle with each one of these people that approach you? Do you let them down gentle caring for their ego? I delight it telling them they are wasting their time (but I also have a T-Shirt saying I am a terrible person).

There are a million of us all being annoying. We are all telling people we can make them a billion dollars. Then there are those of us that believe our work should never be changed.

We are annoying door to door sale people. Once we get that in our heads we can have empathy for the people we are contacting. We will then begin to have success as we treat them appropriately.