Screenwriting : Screenwriting for the first time! by Carmen Ferreira

Wow! Love the concept, Carmen! If possible, examine what you have in those 20 pages to see if you can tack on 75 more and make it a feature! I speak from experience: Two years ago, I wrote a 30-page short thriller about a child abduction called WHERE'S GRACE?, and then was able to expand it to 95 pages. Good luck and congrats!

Congratulations on finishing your first script, Carmen Ferreira! I suggest registering it with the U.S. Copyright Office.

I think the logline could be tightened up some, but I'm not sure where. I'll think over it and see if I come up with any ideas.

Thanks, Bill!

I’ve written specifically for someone who asked for maximum 15 pages!

The script was originally 27, but I’ve saved the original and reduced a copy to send to the person who asked for it.

The story is so intriguing that is possible, if there’s an interest, another two sequels making it a trilogy.

Coming up with ideas is not a problem. My biggest challenge is writing! Haha

I’m starting another one about a divorce! I have a bunch of ideas and I won’t moderate them anymore! I’m going to show them off and learn from experience and “no” and “don’t” that I’m sure I shall face!

Thanks, Maurice!

I’m registering it, yes!

The log line can’t be smaller than that, in my opinion, but I would love to hear some ideas from you! :)

You're welcome, Carmen Ferreira. Did you write this script for a producer?

Try ..."a controversial psychiatrist..." No very.

Great, E Langley! Thanks!

Yes, Maurice - I did.

Cool, Carmen Ferreira. Looking forward to seeing the finished film.

Well, Maurice - I don’t know if it’s going to be a movie, cause the same producer will get other scripts too. Haha

I am doing this just to get experience. I need to start somehow, so I figured doing these kind of things could help.

English is not my language, so I’m sure there will be big obstacles about grammar…haha

I am definitely eager to know what the psychiatrist ended up doing! Loving the controversy -;)

Since English isn't your language, Carmen Ferreira, you could ask someone on Stage 32 to check your script for grammar, or you could offer to read someone's script in exchange for them checking your script for grammar.

Thanks, Taurai!

He ended up doing something different and polemic :)

I would evolve more the story - and it has “room” for a trilogy -, but the (possible) producer asked for 15 pages.

Carmen Ferreira Ah! It's funny you should mention divorce, Carmen. My second feature script, LIFE OF BRADLEY, is about my parents' divorce from my Dad's perspective. It's a 20 year window into his life from ages 20-40. From the honeymoon, to raising kids, to divorce and the custody battle of the kids. I call in the "ROCKY of divorce," for Dad was in no way expected to win... yet he gained custody of all his kids! It was nominated "Best Screenplay" at the Block Island Film Festival last year. I won the award in 2021 with the supernatural script, THE DRESS, and will return to the island next month with my third nomination for my psychological thriller, DREAM HOLLYWOOD. Best of luck on the new screenplay! Sounds like you have a TON of great ideas! : )

Wow! You’re something else! Congratulations, Bill! It’s an honour for me to get a compliment from such talented professionals on here!

My divorce script is a bit of a polemic and out of the box story!

Logline (draft):

The reverse of a divorce

Man files for divorce when he discovers his long life wife is involved in something illicit. He starts to doubt his own convictions of what is right/wrong, real/unreal, and reaches a realisation he doesn’t know the woman married to him for over a decade.

The final is a kind of non imagined situation which is going to be my “mantra”, as a screenwriter. I mean, I’m going to always give unexpected endings to my writing haha

Just a note that my story about the divorce is going to be written backwards!!!

Carmen Ferreira You're very welcome, Carmen. Everyone here is always willing to lend a hand! : )

Bill, thank you!

I’ve checked your profile and wow - it’s such an honour to get a comment from you!!

One day I might get so many returns from my writing!

I’ve waited so long time to do what I’m doing, cause I’ve been writing, literally, since I was six years old!

Thanks, Alexandra.

Carmen Ferreira Awe, gee (blush!).... Thanks, Carmen! We all have to start somewhere. I predict that you, too, will also have a long list of scripts one day! : )

Let’s hope so, Bill! I’m already 50, so not so long until I cannot type haha

That's really unique, Carmen Ferreira.

Congrats :-) That's seems like an interesting plot.

Thanks Irene! Thanks Xenia!

Congratulations! If you feel like this draft is ready to share, I recommend working with some of the executives on Stage 32 to get feedback.

Thanks, Nick.

It is ready, indeed, but I want to read it couple more times to get rid of possible mistakes.

Also, I need grammar review, so it’s not READY, it’s ready haha

Congratulations, Carmen Ferreira!! I agree with Ali Shields, you should think about trying to produce it as a short film. Another great webinar here at Stage 32 that you can check out to learn more about producing shorts, is https://www.stage32.com/webinars/Everything-You-Need-To-Make-An-Award-Wi...

Carmen Ferreira Always feels wonderful to finish that first draft. Congratulations! I'd encourage finding someone you can trust to give it a read. And like Nick said, work with some of the execs for feedback. I've used them myself and my script has always turned out so much better. All the best!

Ashley’s, that is a short! It has 20 pages.

Yes, Leonardo - I’m going to do that after some reviews of it’s grammar :)

This sounds like freaky Friday except with a pregnancy which I think can make for a really interesting story. I would watch it.

Thanks, Efrain!

I’d watch it!

Carmen Ferreira, yes, I'm suggesting that you try to make it yourself. It could be a great experience for you to oversee a short film production and see what the entire process is like. Understanding production and the full life of a project can oftentimes make you an even stronger writer when you dive into your next script.

Congrats Carmen! Be sure to post the logline in the logline section of the site. https://www.stage32.com/loglines

Great, Niki! I’ve just posted! Thanks for the suggestion!

Thanks, Ashley! I will think about it! I’m just a beginner and not sure if I’m that ready yet!

Hey guys - I’ve posted my logline in the logline section and it would be amazing to get your views there too, please!

https://www.stage32.com/loglines/53733