Screenwriting : My November Write Club Goals – Week 3 Update by Maurice Vaughan

I'm on page 87 of In Hot Soup. It's going to my scriptwriting group in two weeks so I need to finish the darn thing. Nothing like a deadline ;-)

Congratulations on getting to page 87, John Clive Carter! I like the title! How long do you think your script will end up being?

Suhweet Maurice Vaughan! Way to knock out those goals!!!

Thanks, Leonardo Ramirez! I appreciate it!

Maurice Vaughan Anytime, my friend.

Hi Maurice Vaughan I think it’ll run about 100.

This is a low-budget number and running time plays a role.

Hope you finish before end Nov. Will you be writing over Thanksgiving?

Thanks, John Clive Carter. Hope you finish by the deadline! I plan on spending time with family and watching movies/shows/sports on Thanksgiving. I might squeeze in a little writing. What do you have planned for Thanksgiving?

Is that ALL you've done Maurice Vaughan? Such a slacker! : )

Maurice, this is awesome!! You've done such great work, as always :)

I'll do better, Nick Phillips Haha

Thank you, Dawn Prato! Congratulations on all the great work you've done this month!

Maurice Vaughan you are the real NWC winner :)) I love how you define your goals and achieve them! I am so happy for you my friend. I sent some query letters and now I am polishing my script last version, only to make it better :)) Let’s gooo

Thank you, Sandra Isabel Correia! I hope you hear great news back about your query letters! Happy polishing!

Thank you Maurice Vaughan me too, but this is a patience process:))))

You're welcome, Sandra Isabel Correia. Screenwriters, filmmakers, actors, etc. gotta have a lot of patience.

Yes, I know :))

Impressive Maurice Vaughan !

Thank you, Robin Gregory! Are you working on a project for November Write Club?

Maurice, Ghost Roach was quite the read, my friend! I'll DM you on my feedback Sunday.

Thanks for reading my script, DD Myles!

Maurice Vaughan , I plan to get with the program when I get a few things straightened out with current WIP. Learning a lot from my writers group about the importance of "trope" when choosing a framework for film.

That sounds interesting, Robin Gregory. I've studied tropes, but I plan on studying them some more. I think some tropes are useful and some need twists.

Maurice Vaughan So true. I just feel I need to understand them better before I can subvert them!

Hmm, interesting topic... tropes. Coming from an urban community the use of tropes are everyday common. Like, he's the "chosen one" when someone stands out on the basketball court.! The rule of three. Man, he got mad "wheels" Tropes are commonplace. I guess you have to decide does it fit the premise of the movie. In horror, we know someone will always trip and fall running from a monster OR the police always grab the wrong guy because he's dressed like the killer during a chase scene

That's the way to do it, Robin Gregory. How often does your writers group teach about different topics?

You're right, DD Myles. You have to decide if a trope fits the premise of the movie. I see the "tripping and falling" trope a lot. I don't like when a character trips and falls for no reason. If there's a reason for the character to trip and fall, that's fine.

DD Myles So true! Many tropes are outworn, but I need to know them in order to subvert them.

Maurice Vaughan My group meets twice a week. It's facilitated by a super-successful screenwriter who introduces different subjects and gives assignments. (Sorry, not through S32.) I'm learning so much about ways to nail a story before I even write scene one. I'm learning that a lot of things I picked up in college and books are outdated and no longer useful. Such as, "so and so meets such and such" comps.

I love this, Robin!! If anything I can do to help you with tropes. I can pull up a hundred from memory! Exp: "Road to Perdition" is by far one of the most underrated "gangsta era" movies made. Every gangster or Mob trope imaginable is in this movie. One that never gets old is when Tom Hanks (hitman)is confronted by Jude Law (hired killer) "The old protagonist excuses himself to the bathroom and then escapes out the window before the antagonist realizes it Trope"

Maurice, this is an excellent script! Entertaining from start to finish! I can absolutely see this being a holiday blockbuster. You’ve done an impressive job balancing storytelling with the constraints of page count, creating a fast-paced, engaging read. As an executive once told me, having a “page-turner” is key, and this script absolutely delivers.

The brevity works in your favor, keeping the narrative sharp and to the point. Some of the dialogue felt a bit on the nose—was that intentional? It might be worth revisiting to see if tweaking it could add a layer of subtlety or nuance.

I loved the scene where Ghost Roach answers the phone, it’s hilarious and full of potential! To punch it up further, maybe try something like this:

GHOST ROACH

"Last name, Roach. First name, Ghost! Got a problem? Who ya gonna call?"

You’ve got a comedy goldmine with this premise—lean into it!

Here are a few subjective recommendations to consider:

Jill as a six-year-old: This could really amplify the charm and comedic tension. A child’s innocent and imaginative perspective could add heart and humor, reminiscent of Beetlejuice.

Dad (Howard Evans) as a skeptic: Making him more of a disbeliever could heighten the stakes and humor as he grapples with the absurdity of a Ghost Roach.

Ghost Roach’s annoying behavior: Dial it up! This could lead to more memorable moments and comedic friction with other characters.

Professional Ghost Pest Exterminator: Introducing a pompous, arrogant ghost exterminator who views Ghost Roach as an evil entity could be a great foil. Imagine the hilarity when Ghost Roach completely outsmarts and dismantles him.

You’re onto something truly special here, Maurice. With a few tweaks, this script could be even stronger and more dynamic. Can’t wait to see where you take it! One more question. Were you going for a Disney theme OR a Family Guy adult theme?

Thanks for the feedback and ideas, DD Myles! I really like the "holiday blockbuster" idea.

The dad's dialogue is supposed to be on the nose since he's a direct person, but not really on the nose. I'll take a look at everyone's dialogue again. Thanks!

I had to hold back on the roach haunt scenes because it's a short script that I'm pitching. I don't want the script to cost too much to make. If it was a feature script, I'd really dial up the haunts. I was gonna put a ghost roach exterminator in the short script, but again, the budget. If the short doesn't sell, I might turn it into a feature script.

Ghost Roach has a Joe's Apartment/Beetlejuice theme.

I think it's great that it's not just a writing group, but it's a learning group too, Robin Gregory!

DD Myles You're on! What are your favorite films whose tropes were a hero's journey and coming-of-age?

Robin, here you go! DD (as he dastardly twirls his mustache) responds, " Lion King" who could not root for Simba as a little cub thrown out into the big bad world! Coming of age as a young lion, learning love through Nala, and courage from Timon and Pumba to come back and overthrow his Uncle Scar! The perfect Hero's Journey/coming-of-age film!!

(DD twirls his mustache again with a hot cup of Java in hand) runs off a list!

Harry Potter

Spiderman

Boyz in da Hood

Twilight

Moonlight

Dangerous Minds

Fame

All the Right Moves

8 Mile

Remember the Titans

(DD takes a sip of Java and a deep breath)

DD Myles I wish I had a mustache. Love all those films!

Love the tagline for "Ghost Roach" :-)

Thanks, GJ Harvey! How's it going? What are you working on?

Impressive Maurice Vaughan. Like the spirit!

Thanks, Eon C. Rambally!

Maurice Vaughan Good thx, reviewing feedback from Austin FF.

You're welcome, GJ Harvey. Which of your scripts is the feedback for?

Maurice Vaughan “Still in Time” which made the semis this year. Got some insightful feedback to work on.

Congratulations, GJ Harvey! Still in Time has one of the most unique concepts I've seen!