Screenwriting : Descriptive by Megan Reneau

I personally write it like poetry, trying to fit the most amount of description into as little space as I can. David Robert Mitchell screenplays always help me.

I just gave some advice to a new writer who did the same thing. He had two paragraphs of description on where the main character was and what they were wearing. They even described the color of the character's socks. I asked one simple question - Does it move the story along?

I advised them to stop writing like they are writing a novel. Don't write 50 words when 5 will get the job done. There's a difference between "Mary has a little lamb" and " Mary K Smith, who looks about 27, wearing a blue dress and holding a Shepard's staff, owns a heard of several wooly mammals of the sheep family and one of them is particularly small and extra fluffy."

Megan Reneau All the advice given above is worth following. I'll just add my own thoughts: It can be difficult working out what to include in your scene description, especially when you're starting out. Endeavour to write clean, clear, concise action. As Mike stated, "less is more" is often the way to go. You just need to give us the essence of the scene. Ask yourself what you need for the scene to work not in your head (as hopefully you already see it like a movie) but in the reader's mind. This is key.

By all means message me if you'd like to talk in more detail.

Less is more Megan Reneau, no doubt! lessons from my experience with professionals and a special AMA we had with Karina Wilson about world buildings is that a scene must have three action lines and dialogue. Also, never forget about “Show, Don’t Tell” rule in a screenplay. If you want to see the AMA I speak and have answers for some of you doubts, see here:

https://www.stage32.com/lounge/vip/Ask-Me-Anything-AMA-Friday-1-24-to-Saturday-1-25-Important-Worldbuilding-Elements

Extraneous "keyboard directing" is likely to be dismissed by a director and actors under direction. An excessive amount might work against a writer in a Spec.

Thomas Cummins I was literally just going to make the same comment about poetry. Megan Reneau if you are thinking of directing the scripts yourself, I don't think there's anything wrong with whatever helps clarify your vision. But if it's a spec script, that's a different story. That can be a danger of reading screenplays by people like Tarantino or Nolan - because they are also the director, they can basically write it however they want it (as long as it gets them the financing). Most of us don't have that luxury.

Helpful discussion. One question I have to add to it though is whether we're talking a selling script or a shooting script. I've heard that if it is a selling script, a bit more foundational information is acceptable in action lines because you're trying to paint the story. Is this true or do I have that wrong? (I'm new to this so I'm not sure.) I do agree less is more, so word economy is still paramount.

Also, I think the amount of story you pack into a feature length script is different if every action line in a 120 page screenplay is full and detailed versus a 120 pager with concise verbiage. You can fit more story in your story with the latter approach.

You're right, Patrick "PK" Koepke. A writer is trying to paint the story with action lines in spec scripts.

Great advice in the comments. Less can be more, but I think a script with long, exciting action lines is better than a script with short, boring action lines. Ultimately, write action lines that hook the readers and don't confuse them.

Yeah, Mike Childress. Let your spec script freak flag fly. I didn't mean blocky chunks of text (long paragraphs). Writers can write long, exciting action lines and put them on separate lines. I like to write 1-3 action lines before starting a new paragraph.

I noticed that too, Mike Childress. Even in my own writing. I'll reread some of my scripts days, weeks, etc. after finishing them and realize I need to cut some things out my action lines or add things to action lines. I think that's why it's helpful to look back at old scripts from time to time.

Tons of good advice here. It’s many times a challenge in straddling the line between “too much” and “I need this to be explained”. My sci-fi comedy series, GOING COMMANDER, for example, contained this struggle because there’s a lot of world-building and non-human characters. How much is too much, for example, when describing the feline humanoid Gatanians or the lizard humanoid Xanatans? How descriptive does each fight scene need to be? And, ultimately, how much do you need so that a reader can see that it’s your voice? (See the screenplay for BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID by William Goldman for some definitely unique action descriptions.

Mike Childress I think — and I could be wrong — the general credo is “Whatever serves the story best”. And that might be different from one screenplay to the next.

I'm also new to screenwriting and learning to let go of my novelist habit of describing everything and everyone haha. I've learned to maybe only describe settings and actions if it can't be naturally inferred while reading. Having a table read done also helps me further let go of how characters should sound to me as the one who wrote them and embrace another's interpretation of them haha. Also shows just how heavily I still tend to describe everything ^^;

do it just sparingly :)

Several ways to approach this, and lots of opinions. The standards have changed over time. I read screenplays written 20 or 30 years ago, and writers used 15 or 20 lines to set the stage. More recently, it seems that shorter is now the style. The way I approach action blocks (scene or action description) is by keeping it to three or four lines. If it needs to go longer, I break it up into two blocks of three or four lines. This helps with readability. I write with a noun, verb, and object as a starting point. "The moon dances on top of the rippling pond," Then I go on... " as Mary hovers over her most recent kill." Something like that. This keeps it lyrical but short. Not right or wrong... Just my approach.

Great question, Megan Reneau! It’s awesome that you’re thinking about how your script will translate to the screen, but finding the right balance in description is key and not always easy. I OFTEN was lectured by my screenwriting teachers for having "too purple of prose". So I understand how you feel completely.

In screenwriting, the goal is to paint a clear and concise picture of what’s happening without over-directing. You want to set the tone, atmosphere, and action efficiently, leaving room for the director, actors, and cinematographer to bring their own interpretations to the scene.

A good rule of thumb: describe only what the audience will see and hear on screen—keep it visual, active, and necessary. Instead of detailing every movement or reaction, focus on essential actions that drive the story forward or reveal character.

For example, instead of:

"John takes a slow step forward, his fingers trembling as he reaches for the door handle, hesitating before he grips it."

You might write:

"John hesitates at the door, hand hovering over the handle."

This keeps the emotion and intent while leaving flexibility for the actor and director to interpret how John’s hesitation plays out.

Your instinct to provide clarity is great, especially in early drafts, but if it reads too much like a novel, try trimming down the details to what’s truly necessary for the scene to work.

Megan Reneau I just did a webinar on writing action lines which may be useful to you. I use lots of examples pulled from one of the pilot scripts that I think does an amazing job and has a lot of action and description, which is Stranger Things. You can watch it here: https://www.stage32.com/education/products/how-to-write-effective-action....

Megan - It’s not easy to answer this in a comment, but in a pumpkin shell: a screenplay is not a novel and it’s only around 100 pages. You want ‘a fast read’. Just say what’s up on the screen. A writer writes, a director directs, an actor acts. Don’t direct the director and don’t coach the actor. It’s not your job. Both director and actor are interpreters. Not executants/puppets. Unless it REALLY needs to be said, leave it out. Also—and that’s very important—your first readers are readers. They only want to ‘see’ if the story has appeal. Logline gives an idea (hopefully), synopsis offers an impression, screenplay tells the story (hopefully). Why do you think a logline should not exceed a few words, a synopsis a few paragraphs? What are the odds that your screenplay will be shot, directed, acted, edited, just as you put it on paper? You say yourself ‘the actors can do what they want’ – OK – ‘this helps the director’ – No. A director worth their salt will probably consult with the writer to check this, fine tune that, clarify this and that, change this and that, and what not. In due time.

Thank you to everyone’s advice, i appreciate all of your time for getting back to me on it. I had only 1-2 lines with each new scene. And maybe 1-4 lines in non dialogue scenes. So I didn’t think it was that bad as the first reader thought. As it was driving the story to the next scene. However with your comments, I’ll try to make it less on directing as suggested and make it shorter to the scene. Less shot list like. Nothing I wrote is close to novel or paragraphs. Each scene is 1-3 mins long. For action scene, as I haven’t gotten to that part of my script yet, I know most of that will have to wait till the fight/stunt coordinator is involved. So I’ll keep them to the story and let the actual action be worked out with who makes it. I wanted to answer individually to everyone because there was so much good advice. Hope you all see this and thank you again! Back to the next/new draft to implement the changes.

Agree with Mike Childress. LESS IS MORE. Also, try doing a script reading. Do not participate. Just listen to your script out loud and you'll see where the read bumps and the flow gets disrupted.

Hi Meagan. I completed a course in screenwriting, what I learnt is what Marc and Francisco mentioned. Less is best. And what Marc mentioned in his comment "Don’t direct the director and don’t coach the actor. It’s not your job", is absolutely correct. Good luck with your future ventures.

Every element in a film should serve the story. If something contributes to a new layer of narrative discovery, it must be explicitly stated. Otherwise, we leave room for the director’s vision. Even the color of a character’s clothing can carry meaning—if it tells a story, it belongs in the script.

I agree with Zahra's vision!!