Logline
A deeply troubled man, Jim, navigates the daily monotony of his life, struggling with depression and a shattered sense of self. He forms an intense, yet confusing relationship with a woman he meets by chance, unaware that she is merely a figment of his imagination—a painful reflection of his past crime. As memories and hallucinations blur the line between reality and fantasy, the truth of his guilt emerges, unraveling his fragile psyche and forcing him to confront the horror of what he’s done.
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The story sounds interesting, Oded Nave, but the logline is really long. Here’s a logline template that might help: After/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s position/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: A _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s position/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion).
Loglines are one or two sentences. A one-sentence logline sounds better, and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it. Try to keep your logline to 35 words or less. Long loglines can make producers, directors, etc. pass on a project.
Avoid using “must” in loglines. “Must” usually means the protagonist is forced to do whatever they need to do in the story instead of doing it willingly. You might need to use “must” in a logline though, like when the protagonist is forced by another character to do something. Using “must” to choose between two options is fine.
Names in loglines are usually for biopics, well-known stories, and franchises (like Mission: Impossible).
Sometimes I put the location and date that the story takes place in instead of the inciting incident if it’s a Period Piece script.
All stories don’t follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow the template. The series logline for a TV show can follow this template, but the pilot logline and episode loglines for the show might not.
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Good job! I am intrigued. I think you can end with ..."figment of his imagination."
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Oded Nave great beginning but longish as Maurice Vaughan points out.
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You don't need to state his name.
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Hi, the log line caught my attention! Especially the elements of depression and hallucination. I’m a psychiatrist who is happy to help with any advice on accurate portrayals of mental health. Happy to talk more and good luck on your project!