Screenwriting : Logline Feedback by Liam Lacy

Liam Lacy

Logline Feedback

Hi guys, I've just posted my loglines on my profile, all of which have been written. If anyone could jump on and give them a read and comment that would be greatly appreciated!

Mark Souza

A key point to loglines is to define the protagonist - what makes him or his situation interesting, and what's at stake - why does he care and why should we. A couple of your loglines provided this. Most didn't.

Liam Lacy

Thanks for the tip Mark. I've got some tweaking to do!

Marvin Willson

As a rule, loglines should not contain names. They also need to be concise, contain active verbs and give a clear idea of what they story is about. EXAMPLE: A man and woman who are supposed to be sworn enemies form an unlikely coupling after a deadly confrontation between two gangs in an American city, with a slightly French feel. The french feel is confusing and is it actually required? Try this. Sworn enemies are FORCED into an unlikely ALLIANCE, after they are DRAGGED in to a deadly gang war.

Liam Lacy

Thanks Marvin! I'll continue to tweak them.

Frank G. Lind

Hey Liam! I was able to read through your loglines. When I'm putting together a logline I try to make sure it has 4 key components: A main character, an opponent, a situation and a goal. As in this example for Avatar: A paraplegic marine (main character) goes to a distant planet and falls in love with a local native alien (situation) and must defend her people in their struggle (goal) against a ruthless mining company (opponent). Hope this helps!

Frank G. Lind

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