THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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THE JACOBI CELL
By Mike Childress
After a nihilistic band of former mercenaries unleashes a wave of terror attacks targeting global critical infrastructure the flawed leader of a futuristic special operations team must neutralize the guerilla force before it's able to perpetrate the most destructive of its nefarious plots.
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Rated this logline
1 person likes this
Really a 4.5… this logline says all it needs to say so it's good, but it's just a tad too long, not snappy enough at 43 words.
My revision of 36 words:
"After a nihilistic band of former mercenaries unleashes a wave of terror attacks on critical world infrastructure, the leader of a spec ops team must neutralize them before they're able to perpetrate their most destructive plot."
…or 27 words:
"The troubled leader of a spec ops team must neutralize a nihilistic band of former mercenaries turned terrorists before they're able to unleash their most destructive plot."
1 person likes this
Michael Dzurak Thanks, like with my scripts verbosity in loglines is still something I struggle with!