Hi everyone, I’m developing an adult animated series concept that mixes Kafka’s absurd bureaucracy with Monty Python’s surreal humour.
The project is called Memento Mori, Lucas, and it explores the afterlife as a vast, dysfunctional bureaucracy where souls with incomplete files are lumped into strange support groups.
I’ve put together a rough 8-panel storyboard for the pilot opening sequence, introducing Lucas (our everyman protagonist), the intimidating bureaucrat Link, and his first meeting with ‘The Associates’ — a group of fellow incomplete souls.
I’d love feedback from animators, writers, and producers in this community — is the tone landing? Does the humour read? And would you watch more of this world?
Many thanks
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Hey, Marc Jaytin. I haven't seen Kafka, but I think "What the f....." and "Oh great, I'm in a support group" fit the tone the most and they're the funniest parts in my opinion. I suggest adding more Monty Python type humor. I'd watch more of this world!
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I like the designs. I think the storyboard needs more development to convey a clearer sense of tone, humor, and pacing. It's a nice start - keep going!
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Thanks Maurice Vaughan Franz Kafka often writes about ordinary people trapped in absurd, nightmarish bureaucracies that grind them down without reason, but anyway that's only a small part of the style of the series.
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You're welcome, Marc Jaytin. Oh ok. Franz Kafka. I thought you meant the movie Kafka.
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Thanks Bob Harper Yeah I've never done anything like this before so wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to give too much away either but the twists, and the worlds lore have all been written out. It's exciting to see it all come together, I just need a load of help getting it off the ground
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Marc Jaytin I wouldn't worry about giving too much away when you are getting feedback on sites like this. Expand what you have already shown into a sequence of shots, similar to a comic book, or find some online samples of storyboards to see how they visually portray a story. Keep at it.
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As always Bob Harper thank you
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Marc Jaytin - I wanted to pop in real quick and express how much I rock with the character design. Also, interesting title, my first introduction to the concept 'Memento Mori,' was through an artist name Mac Miller. Excited to see what you end up creating with this.
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Thanks Cyrus Sales I'm currently sketching out the world that Lucas now finds himself in. It's throwing up a lot of opportunity for humor but also a lot of philosophical questions around death, the afterlife and 'the rules' which I wasn't expecting, but is very welcome.