Filmmaking / Directing : First Short Film by David Leo Michael

Saw it. Liked the idea. Have you written any full features?

The more faces you see the more the audience gets involved.

The start could use more mystery. IMHOP.

Congratulations again on making your first short film, David Leo Michael! I like the movie! It’s gripping, moving, and it deals with something a lot of people face.

The film is shot well. My favorite shot is at 1:19.

I think the first two shots of Dave are too dark.

The audio when the scenes changed could’ve been smoother.

I think the scenes of Dave getting ready could’ve been shorter, and I think you could’ve cut the shot of him putting on his shoes. It adds time to the film, but I don’t think it adds anything to the story. The same thing for the gearshift shot at 2:23.

Pretty good

Wow! That was an incredible though painful film. You captured visually with a minimum of words the pain so many of us feel. At times it was tedious filmatically. I know you want us to feel the tedium the character feels and believe me you do a fantastic and precise job. But at the same time, being human beings, we want some level of entertainment. People pay lots of money to a shrink to sit through their extremely depressing lives. But they don't want to pay to have to sit through someone else's ongoing depression. You're not wrong because I subject my viewers to scenarios they won't be comfortable with. But what it comes down to is pacing. You have many long scenes where the grip of his unyieldingly miserable life drags on through scenes. My suggestion is not to change anything about the content. It's the pacing you got to work on. I believe the length of scenes could be cut and your audience will more than feel the pathos which is strong. Maybe even cut out one or two of the same repetitive scenes. You're here to entertain primarily and to inform in the process. Your movie clearly informs. The scene with the letter from mother is such a relief finally to hear and feel something positive. But you have to get them there.

Incredible achievement

Keep up the good work, some creative shots, the over head reverse snori :)

Good job, I liked it.

This is a powerful piece of work, David! The emotional depth really comes through. Music can play such a crucial role in amplifying these intense emotions. If you ever need an original score for future projects, I'd love to collaborate. I specialize in orchestral composition for film. You can check my work at https://aitziber-olabarri.musictip.net/ - Keep creating!