I'm looking for feedback on whether this type of film has enough demand to make it profitable or not. I have the full script, but based on the Logline alone, would you watch this feature?
"When a desperate real estate agent pursues the reclusive owner of a historic mansion, she discovers he's an immortal bound to Death for centuries — and now she must challenge Death to a supernatural chess game to save both their souls."
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Hi, John Thompson. I’m a Stage 32 Lounge Moderator. I wanted to let you know that I moved your post from the Screenwriting Lounge to the Producing Lounge since it's more about producing. Let me know if you have any questions.
I think this type of film has enough demand to make it profitable because of the "supernatural chess game" hook.
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Been an increase in demand for fantasy recently & if it includes romance is often named “Romantasy.” Depends how well structured obviously whether pitch worthy for sale. Is it directed at young adults which a lot of fantasy is, or is it more for thriller general audience? It sounds like there’s a lot of mind play which makes me say yes I’d watch it.
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It's more of a romance fantasy thriller for a general audience. This is great feedback. Thank you both!
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You're welcome, John Thompson.
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Sounds interesting so far John. Def agree with Debbie - adding an element of romance can help the story. Would suggest tweaking it more towards a high stakes thriller
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Looks amazing to me John Thompson and best of luck.
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What about a logline like this?
"When a real estate agent pursues a mysterious recluse to save her career, she discovers her client is a centuries-old immortal locked in a deadly game with Death himself—forcing her to risk everything in a supernatural chess match where the stakes are not just their lives, but a love that has waited five hundred years to exist."
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John this new logline singggs! Better
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I think that logline is better, John Thompson. It tells us more about the story. I think the last part (“a love that has waited five hundred years to exist”) is vague though. And the logline is really long (58 words).
Here’s a logline suggestion: When a real estate agent pursues a mysterious recluse to save her career, she discovers her client is a centuries-old immortal locked in a game with Death—forcing her to risk everything in a supernatural chess match to save their lives and __________ (the part about “a love that has waited five hundred years to exist").
I took out “deadly” to make the logline shorter since we know it’s a deadly game by “where the stakes are not just their lives.”
Or this logline (a shorter version): When a real estate agent who’s desperate to save her career discovers her client is an immortal locked in a game with Death, she risks everything in a supernatural chess match to save their lives and __________ (the part about “a love that has waited five hundred years to exist").
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A premise cribbed from Bergman's The Seventh Seal (1957)?
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Thanks, Khari. And solid feedback, Maurice. Nikka, I just looked up The Seventh Seal and realized how similar the concepts are, haha. I've never seen it, but it's going on my list. It matches a similar theme to what I was envisioning.
What about this logline?
"A real estate agent pursuing a mysterious recluse discovers her client is an immortal locked in a game with Death—forcing her to play a supernatural chess match where the stakes are not just their lives, but the unexpected love she finds herself in."
I like your logline's flow, John Thompson, but I think "the unexpected love she finds herself in" is unclear. It sounds like she falls in love with her client, but I'm not sure.