I have a scene where several character's comments from earlier scenes come back to mind for my protag in a rush with some overlap. Right now I have that explanation (essentially) in the action, then list the lines in new action paragraphs single spaced. I'm trying to conserve space and I think this gets the idea across, but I'm not sure what the convention is for this (if there is one). Any helpful suggestions, anyone?
Screenwriting : Formatting question by Roxanne Paukner
Formatting question
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Roxanne: I suppose you could use the dual dialogue mode and format your scene something like this:
Thanks, Phillip. I think that will work.
Roxanne: You are most welcome. You could also go old school and have bubbles with the faces of the other characters speaking, as their quotes are going through the protagonist's mind.
This sounds like V.O. to me...
AS: if you reread Roxanne's post, she said the dialog overlaps and she wants to conserve space. That's the reason I suggested the dual dialogue.
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If you really want to save space, don't write anything at all. That will really cater to folks with short attention spans. What was this topic about again?
You have to make this clear to the reader and later to the production team, so don't worry about space. I'm sure there are some actor directives that can be cut somewhere else.
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In DAN MAXXX'S head, he remembers a past conversation while approaching the door to the Senior Citizen's Home. PAST CONVERSATION IN HIS HEAD PHILLIP E. HARDY (OS) So we sell 50% of our production to each one. DAN MAXXX (OS) But that's 100 old ladies....that's 5,000%! BILL COSTANTINI (OS) No, Dan.....it's 200 old ladies! DAN MAXXX (OS) Then that's...10,000%! How can that be? PHILLIP E. HARDY (OS) Dan, we're artists - not mathematicians! BILL COSTANTINI (OS) Now go dooooo that voodoooooo that you do sooooooo wellllllll! BACK TO THE PRESENT Dan Maxxx opens the door to the Senior Citizen's Home. A PURPLE-HAIRED GERIATRIC smiles as he enters. PURPLE-HAIRED GERIATRIC Hello, Mr. DeMille! She giggles. Her eyes twinkle like stars. PURPLE-HAIRED GERIATRIC I mean...Mr. DeMaxxx! Dan Maxxx kisses her hand. Then her wrist. Then her forearm. DAN MAXXX Hello, my darling! Are you ready to become the star that you were always destined to be?
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Bill: that fills a lot of white space. But I think it'll work. However, I take umbridge and Cambridge with you impugning my math skills. To paraphrase Yogi, "ninety percent of being a success is half mental."
Thank you, Bill, for a good example and a good laugh!
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Phillip, not writing anything could solve a lot of other problems, right? ;)
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Roxanne: glad you enjoyed the laugh - and the example! Phillip E. Hardy - "Umbridge?" "Impugn?" God darn it, Mr. Hardy....you sure talk fancy for a Texas cowboy feller!
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Shit Billy! I spelled Umbridge wrong. you know spellun ain't my strong soot.