Screenwriting : the Giant Killer Script Ch 4 Pg 6 review…

the Giant Killer Script Ch 4 Pg 6 review

(Please note that this is done as it would be a script for a comic, I have a background in comics, so I use comic terms for the script. I do hope to get this made as a movie or short TV show. I'm looking for feedback on the pages, if you can take the time to read and leave a review in the comments. replace panels with shot.)

Chapter 4 Page 6 - (Garerit finds Blonderbore's Cave and meets Rebeck) Four Panels

(Ch4 Pg6 Panel Four)

EXT. MOUNTAINOUS REGION - LATE AFTERNOON

Garerit climbs over rocky terrain, eyes scanning ahead. A dark cave entrance looms before him, jagged like the maw of a beast. Bones, broken weapons, and remnants of past victims litter the ground. Garerit finds the cave, massive footprints lead into it. Once inside, he sees piles of food, barrels, and other items. Carrles made of trees hold livestock.

SB (Garerit - Thinking): "Blonderbore's lair.. If the giants hoard treasures, this is where I'll find them."

(Ch4 Pg6 Panel Four)

INT. BLONDERBORE'S CAVE - DIMLY LIT

Garerit steps inside cautiously, the air thick with the scent of damp stone and something foul. A flickering torch reveals crude carvings on the walls, depicting battles and feasts.

SFX: Drip... drip... crackle.

(Ch4 Pg6 Panel Four)

A voice echoes from the darkness.

SB (Off-screen voice): "Another fool comes to steal from the giants?"

(Ch4 Pg6 Panel Four)

A shadow moves, and Rebeck, a cunning-looking figure with sharp eyes and a smirk, steps into the light. He's dressed in ragged but once-fine clothing, a silver pendant around his neck.

SB (Rebeck - Smirking): "You don't look like the usual sort. Who are you?"

Maurice Vaughan

6 months ago

I like the scene, Gregory Barone. I could picture the scene easily ("Garerit climbs over rocky terrain, eyes scanning ahead. A dark cave entrance looms before him, jagged like the maw of a beast..."), and there's suspense in the scene.

In Page 5 Panel Four, it says "SIR GAEL (NARRATION): It is no ordinary cave. The walls pulse like living stone, and the air is thick with the scent of blood and smoke. The giants keep their spoils there, gold, livestock... and prisoners," so you don't need to have Garerit think "Blonderbore's lair.. If the giants hoard treasures, this is where I'll find them" on Page 6.

"Carrles made of trees hold livestock" Does "Carrles" mean "Carrels"?

All of your Panels are labeled "(Ch4 Pg6 Panel Four)."

Gregory Barone

1
1 person likes this
- Maurice Vaughan
6 months ago

so redo that part for panel one?

I think you should, Gregory Barone.

Hey Maurice Vaughan , I came up with a few alternatives to replace it. Pick the best or come up with one.

(Ch4 Pg6 Panel One)

Garerit climbs over rocky terrain, eyes scanning ahead. A dark cave entrance looms before him, jagged like the maw of a beast. Bones, broken weapons, and remnants of past victims litter the ground. Garerit finds the cave, and massive footprints lead into it. Once inside, he sees piles of food, barrels, and other items. Carrels made of trees hold livestock.

SB (Garerit - Thinking): "Blonderbore's lair.. If the giants hoard treasures, this is where I'll find them." (FIX!)

1. This is the cave Sir Gael told me about, clearly not hard to miss.

2. This is the cave Sir Gael told me about. I'll go in and see what riches I can find.

3. It's just as Sir Gael said it would be. I'll look around and see what riches they stored up.

4. The giant's cave...just like Sir Gael said, I'll go in, look around, and see what riches I can find.