Maló Polite Xavier's Photo #2608652142201807416

Hi....interesting concept. Now, 99.9% of the posters here will agree - I am the last person who should evaluate anything. Here is my "2cents" nevertheless.

There is too much going on - too much to digest. Focus on the core idea and theme, and build around that. And also, work on the grammar.

Hope this helps, and good luck.

Too complicated. There no clear objective. Is this film about his revenge for his wife or him trying to gain his freedom from prison or is he trying to expose the Cabal? You're so worried about the militaristic details that you aren't telling a coherent story. I honestly, hope that you haven't already spend weeks or months writing the script.

I would suggest refocusing on your concept by creating a one sentence logline that sums up the entire plot of the movie. Then write a new synopsis, of four or five paragraphs, with each paragraph summing up each act and what will happen during the movie, keeping in line with the theme of your logline. Something like this:

Act I - He's happy, he's married.

Act II - His wife is killed, clues are left to who did it.

Act III - He's thrown in jail while investigating.

Act IV - The murder was to get him out of the way while the bad guy(s) make bad things happen.

Act V - He escapes and kills the Cabal leader.

Good luck.