On the couple pitches I've done, I've gotten notes back on character development or lack there of. My characters have different layers of course but they don't have any outstanding characteristics that can be summed up in one or two words like "overbearing", "rough around the edges" and so on. Their development of who they are happens across the entire screenplay so I am having trouble condensing it into a pitch. Any tips? Thanks.
Screenwriting : Character Development in a Pitch by Ashley Stone
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Hi Ashley, first, listen to Joey who knows best how to pitch on S32. Second, since we haven't heard your pitch, imo, it's impossible to give specific advice. In my experience, I've heard writers pitch the plot without coupling plot details with character details. For example, if I'm pitching DIE HARD, I could pitch out the plot, and you'd understand what is going on in that movie. However, if I couple plot details with character, I'm painting a much fuller picture. For example: John McClane overhears Hans Gruber saying he's going to blow up XYZ. John is terrified. He's thinking, "how in the hell are my wife and I going to live through this night?" He gathers himself, even says a prayer." That's just an example of how you might couple plot details with character, state-of-mind, emotion, etc.
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Is part of this how the story involves the character (or doesn't)? Story and character are connected on a basic level (or should be) and if the character is not specific to the story and the story doesn't impact the character that may be the issue.