Screenwriting : You may hear no a hundred times before you hear yes; how do you deal with rejection? by Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal"

go on stage 32 and rant! :)

Usually I pout for a bit, then I shrug and move on. If they are kind enough to tell me why I'm being rejected, I try to use that information to improve. Sometimes I'll look over my script again with a more critical eye and see if I can figure out the reason why. Either way, it never keeps me down long. I also usually have several irons in the fire at once (contests, submissions, etc) so I just turn my focus to the next thing that might bring good results. "My strength is not that I never fail, but that I rise up again every time." That's my mantra in this business and in life.

Keep going!

I still haven´t heard from anyone that I suck so that helps with a "no" or a "pass". Recently, the feedback was extremely positive so that keeps me going. Although, there was a pass on a pitch, I know where I messed up in the pitching department and three people (producers) recently called me " a good writer" and want to read more of my stuff so... I take what I can get and keep moving forward how ever I can. One of these days there has to be a "yes" in there somewhere. I just have to keep learning and improving in all ways, Always. :)

@Dan G. Good work on the "great screenplay" feedback you received. As you and I have said in several posts, spec scripts are our calling cards. Most of the read requests I get go nowhere, even on ones where I get a good response. However, just like rejection, having someone tell you they're a fan of your work or winning or placing well in a film festival or screenplay contest is gratifying; so you try to enjoy the moment. But I never rest on my laurels and laurel leaves. While I'm waiting for a director and producer to get back to me with suggested changes for something I finished writing last week, I started working on another script for another producer. For me, the best medicine is never letting anything stop me from putting out more work.

Jack Daniels single barrel

johnnie walker blue label.

A shot of Wild Turkey with an Ativan chaser always sets me up real well.

Phillip, I’ve got a folder of hardcopy rejections myself. In the early days of writing short stories and articles, I took it personally and would analyze everything that was said. Unless it was a form rejection and then I would be even more bummed out thinking they didn’t bother to read it. My family knew that if a brown envelope was in the mailbox, it was going to be a long week. Then when I began writing screenplays, there wasn’t email yet, and my screenplay agent would actually just send me a postcard now and then saying stuff like, “Universal passed or Hallmark passed.” So, I began dreading seeing the postcard in the mailbox. Later, when I had a literary agent trying to sell my middle-grade novels, he usually softened the rejections with kind comments via email. But, now that I’m back to writing screenplays, when I receive a rejection, I usually just say, “Hmm. Rats!” and eat some dark chocolate, (a mood elevator) then I move on to the next pitch, query letter or project.

My first play out of college my scene partner and I were called a "wanna-be comic duo." I blew it up and put it on my wall for inspiration. Let it drive you. That said, a little Laphroaig always takes away the sting.

I use it as fuel, I allow myself ten maybe fifteen minutes on pity pot, than is back to writing. Besides nothing was more heartbreaking to me than being rejected by Doreen when I was a teenager !!!!!!

Today i just got an email rejection from Paradigm. "Dear Dan.. unfortunately... all material must be submitted through an established entertainment representative." Here is what I did: Dear "TOP AGENT".. "unfortunately, I do not have established entertainment representation. This is why I am contacting you for representation." I pitched my log line again. resend. "do not try this at home" :) only pros take rejection and resend :)

@Aray: I've been rejected three times too... this week. @Dan M: Your action is not only pro but it's also the difference between a pessimist and an optimist.

Dan G I wanted to but u never know if the dumb ass will be running paradigm Can't burn bridges.

I never try to understand a rejection ,not in life not in script or any novel or other writings.The person who received my creation but rejected it is not the one who can appreciate it (I make it absolutely perfectly typed and written by a professionnal rewritter).Am I going to be destroyed now?never! .My advice:Have a regular job to support yourself and your family but never but never stop writting.Your days of glory will come or ...not. So, what !some extraordinary creations were discovered post mortem.Never stop trying .Change a documentary into a fiction ,a short into a long feature,a script into an essay or a novel,a theater play.Your life around you is so rich .Just look around and peak up a subject and a story that interest you and ...start again.You have millions of things,actions and heros to choose.Don't get broken from a simple rejection from some body who perhaps had no time to read you or no desire or was in bad shape to appreciate your creation .Some unknown reader who doesn't understand you and your creation at this time of the day or the year.It's exactely like with a love affair or a friendship.The right man at the right moment and the right place.Just be patient ,it will come .and if not , there will be an other creation of yours to work on it and a better moment ,place and time.Life is a long travel. Believe the old lady.

I concur guys. We can only do our best, learn and learn, write, write and write some more. As you say Annette, it is total luck of the draw as to who picks up your work and what mood they are in whether they get the first few lines or not. We spend an awful lot of time working ideas, developing characters, constructing plots, sub plots, description, humour, etc until we are satisfied our creation is complete, as we see it. Skipping across a few lines is not going to get what we have achieved in that out of context glance. I enjoy slotting in humour as often as possible, take the reader on an emotional roller coaster. Laughing one minute, then toss in something nasty, reaching out like a slap in the face with a wet fish. Twists, turns, complications, little turning points which are never experienced by that fleeting glimpse which on that day, is a chore before our masterpiece sees the inside of a bin. Why do we do it? Because we are crackpots? Possibly, but in most of us, there is a compelling urge to put made up stories on to paper, eBook, paperback, music sheets or screenplays. I feel rejection (if you thought I had forgotten) is an opinion given by one person. We may not like it but they are doing their job. It certainly does not feel us full of joy. What I do, is quietly thank them for their time silently offer to pee through their letterbox lol. I know there is just one person who can help me. Just one, and it's my task to find that one person. When I do, I have achieved that small amount of progress, then comes the next step. We need to be strong. Me personally have a gabillion health issues which prevent me from doing anything else, so I am far too tenacious to give up. I am good for something and according to some of my readers, I am as good as the best and offer to glue my arse to the seat until I write more stories. Nice comment and makes the effort worth while. It's so good those people are getting what we do. :-)

I usually stomp around for about fifteen minutes, then get right back to it next day. It's part of the process, part of the writing life. I also don't spend too much in "why?" If there's feedback included with the no, great, I'll take it under advisement. If not, I have NO idea why the script was rejected, so why let my brain spin demoralizing scenarios?

To me, rejections teach me to write more engaging scripts, learn to promote them better, and improve the number and quality personal relationships in the business. Never give up!

like chasing an unicorn!

Take it like a writer... :)

@jeff with or without lube :)

Many years ago, a sales trainer gave me this formula: Figure out your percentage of "No" responses to "Yes" responses. Then recognize that each "no" is one step closer to the "yes" and think of it as "Thank you for the no" rather than a rejection. Always remind yourself they saying "No" to the proposal, not to you as a person. This advice has helped me to keep my sanity in not always friendly world.

Dan--- Okay ... not even going there.

"Failure or rejection is part of the journey to success." Thats my affirmation anyway! :-)

Getting a no for me usually gets me to go back right away and look at the script I wrote. In doing so I usually work harder and ultimately even if nothing comes of the project I end up with a more polished script. All part of the job. :)

Dan Max: You'd have to run this by some of the Guardians of the Stage32 Galaxy for confirmation - but I think you misunderstood the "rejection" from Paradigm. Take another look. They told you that they don't accept submissions unless they come from "...an established entertainment REPRESENTATIVE". You replied to them that you were looking for "REPRESENTATION" (an agent) - and that's why you contacted them. You also came off as a bit of a wise-ass in the process which helps you not a whit. I'd be shocked if they followed up with a 2nd reply. You need them, they do NOT need you. I think they understood that you were looking for agency REPRESENTATION. What they told you - and what you missed entirely - was that they don't accept cold submissions from strangers - in the same way that most studios would not accept a blind submission unless it came to them via the regular route - meaning an agent. When they said "established entertainment REPRESENTATIVE" - what they were telling you - is that if you want to submit a screenplay for them to read - with the end game being that if they like it - they sign you - you can't take a straight line approach. They don't know you. They could care less. But - if an established entertainment representative - meaning another writer they know - whether they represent them already - or a director - or another agent - or an entertainment attorney - or a studio exec who have already read your work, liked it, and are willing to vouch for you and recommend you to Paradigm - by saying something along the lines of, "I read a script by this kid Dan Max. Very talented. Looking for an agent. You should have a look" - in other words - the middle man is someone that Paradigm already KNOWS - and THEY vouch for you and say THEY think you have talent and Paradigm should give you a look - THEN - it happens. I've had 6 agents - and until I was established and making money and agents tried to poach me from wherever I was at the time - my first agent read my work - because a working TV writer - who had been represented by this guy's partner at their agency - saw him at a party and told him to read my work. Then he told me - I called the agent - used HIS name - and got a read. That's how it works. Anyone on this thread who told you to be even more insulting was giving you some very bad advice. If you took it - consider Paradigm a burned bridge - and don't make the same mistake at the next agency you try. Use a go-between. Someone already working in the biz who knows someone at the agency and knows you and has read your work and is willing to play that role and contact the agent on your behalf. I'm doing you a solid here. Even after you "make it" - cocky gets you a bad rep in a big hurry.

michael correct. thanks for tip

To those who've said that each "no" gets you closer to a "yes"...perhaps. Sometimes a "no" is just a no. In most cases - a "no" comes in the form of nothing. As in - you never hear back at all. That is to be understood as a no. A pass. Most readers - at whatever level - will not take the time to go into any detail - or tell you what is wrong with your work. They will never be critical - because when (and if) you become a hot writer - they don't want you to remember the criticism - only the pass. You can make up your own reasons for that. You can also use the rejection to fuel your creative fires - along the lines of "I'm gonna be big. I'm a great writer. This guy obviously can't read". But you keep all that to yourself and use it for motivation. Only once - in decades of work - did someone take the time to actually call me and give me feedback on a spec I'd written. It was a at the start of my career. Hadn't sold a thing. Didn't have an agent. Managed to get a spec to a TV producer on the hit series I'd written the spec for. I can't remember how I pulled that off. He called me after reading it - spoke to me for 45 minutes on the phone. Told me the good stuff and told me where I'd gone wrong about certain characters etc. I took notes. Asked him if I should rewrite the script and resubmit it. He told me that it was already too late for that season - all their assignments were out and the show had been mapped for the next year. But if I wanted to do that - for a year down the line - go ahead. then he added, "But my hunch is - a year from now - you won't need us." I thought it was a pretty cool thing to say - very encouraging - whether he was blowing smoke or not - I took it as a positive. And a year later - I had optioned my first screenplay and been hired for a couple other film jobs - so I never went back to the TV show. But I always remembered that guy...

This is a great thread. It's nice to see different perspectives on such a common thing.

I have a mantra, "Every no is a step closer to a yes". I do the only thing I can, WRITE SOME MORE.

Three decades plus of rejection. Sometimes I've gotten right back up. Sometimes it took years. But... I'm back again.

Jeff, Marvin & Robert... great responses.

Rejection Definition: An injection or dose of inspiration. Not our favorite med but necessary for overall health and wellness.

@Phillip E Hardy.... I love you... great attitude. I'll just have to reread a few times a week. :-))

@Sylvia Love u too.

Hi all, I would recommend trying to get a 'manager' instead of an agent. Agent's are a different breed altogether. It's easy for them to say 'no' even when they're on the fence about your work... it could cost them their job. The best scenario is if it's not right for them.... they would pass it along to someone who is looking for exactly what you have... hopefully you have at least 3 finished projects. I just got back from the Nashville Writers Conference.... and listened to panels of agents and managers and how they approach the business of show business. In attendance were writers like Jeb Stuart who wrote the original Die Hard and The Fugitive +... Mark Bomback who wrote The Wolverine, Total Recall, Live Free or Die Hard, Deception + and also currently War For The Planet of the Apes (2017) ... Sean Covel, Producer/writer of Napoleon Dynamite, Broken Hill + and now this summer will direct his own screenplay set to shoot in August, Writer Shauna Cross, Whip It, If I Stay, What to Expect When You're Expecting, +... delightful talented woman. Keya Khayatian, literary agent at UTA, started out in the mail room... omg... because he had a keen eye for spotting an "original voice" was quickly promoted... we've all heard this story... it was exciting to actually meet Keya.... his clients include directors, writers, actors, from projects such as: Dallas Buyers Club, Godzilla, Persepolis, Captain America & so many more... the list goes on and on... google / imdb these folks... you must research the person you are even sending a query letter to. FYI... There are several big agencies that take unsolicited material. Benderspink is one of them. Circle of Confusion is another. Check out the Hollywood Directory ... there are tons of production companies, etc... that take unsolicited material... and what I also learned is that managers and agents team up... they all have their own friends/teams they make deals with... spec scripts...even quarter-finalists from the top 5-8 contests... even said, the top prize may not sell... the Black List, they pay attention to... it's just unbelievable how that huge machine/studios come together... when they 'love' something... the buzz begins ...creates bidding wars... they get really excited when that happens and shared their stories... and that 'something' is your unique "voice" ... above all else. All the panelists love to share their experiences with aspiring writers.... they are at these festivals to meet you, the writers, hoping to find a gem ... they pay it forward... are very accessible... network.. they even took pitches for 2 hours... there were 26 people listening to pitches... it was amazing to watch... If they give you their business card... that's gold. And boy, all these folks from L.A. love to party at the end of each and every day. I'm still exhausted. Had a blast... get out there folks... network face-to-face... there's nothing like it. Stage 32, is also absolutely fantastic, we can network virtually and it was a thrill to meet members at the conference... you will feel like you've known this person since childhood when you meet finally face-to-face... I still thank god that I came across a video where I first met RB, virtually, doing an interview in 2012 in a cafe in L.A. It changed my life, especially because I live in Toronto, didn't know a soul in California and now know so many amazing writers to share war stories with. We all must do the work, write every single day even if you only have an hour..... keep your day job, save your money, writing is rewriting, of course, but if you write only a page a day... you'll have 3 good scripts in a year. Just as an aside.... The week before I left for Nashville, I received an email from LA Screenwriters. Apparently I was one of 2 winners for passes to the Toronto Screenwriting Conference this coming weekend. Still not sure exactly how that happened... I did check it out a few months ago and thought since I was going to Nashville I couldn't afford both... the 2 day pass costs about $450.00. So I guess, it was meant for me to go ... I believe in fate... so we'll see what that goes. Whew! Okay, back to work. My day job; I own a restaurant which keeps me very busy and I still find time to write everyday. You can too. Thank you for reading all the way to the end of this long post. Best always to all, -Sylvia

A swing and a miss puts you one step closer to a hit. Rejection is natural in writing and girl chasing but jus' keep on keepin' on.

That's great information Sylvia. Thanks for sharing.

I just keep it in my mind that every no I get will lead me to that big Yes as long as I don't allow defeat to interrupt my flow. Like Doug said, keep on keepin' on.

Great post Sylvia, and thank you.

I just always think that next audition is going to be a yes. That's what keeps me going.

Sylvia - great post. Very detailed and informative. But I would have to disagree with you on favoring managers over agents. Agents do everything that a manager does. They are regulated. Managers are not. And they are limited to taking 10% of your end of a deal - managers can take more. It's akin to preferring a lawyer who takes 5% of every deal they do as opposed to a lawyer who works on an hourly basis. They do the same thing - but their hand doesn't remain in your pocket permanently. And Doug - appreciate the baseball analogy - but I really don't think it applies to writing. A swing and a miss in relation to writing doesn't put you any closer to a "hit"/sale. It may just mean that you can't hit the curveball and you're not destined for the majors.

Michael I was under the impression that managers actually manage your career, while agents negotiate the terms. Would you say agents fill both roles? That hasn't been my personal experience but I realize my own experience is limited.

Correct, Jody... unless you live in the U.K. They don't have Managers.... agents do it all.

@Michael... are you in the U.K.? In Canda and the U.S. Managers manage... and Agents make deals. Of course they collaborate once in a while when a big deal is going down... but mostly not.

Jody - agents DO fill both roles. They don't just "negotiate the terms". In fact, some make the deal, agree on all the numbers, generate a "deal memo" spelling all that out - and then let your lawyer do the long form contract - in all it's glorified legalese (that only another lawyer can understand) - but all based on the DEAL already negotiated by your agent. I've had 6. It is their job to know the marketplace so that when you give them a spec - they know which studios or producers are looking for that particular type of material - and target them. And not waste time sending a sci fi script somewhere where they want to do a romcom. Agents - who sign new talent - and break your career by making your first deal - selling a piece of material - or getting a spec out as a showpiece script to try to generate an assignment - IS managing your career. My very first agent (an ex-writer himself) - actually spent every weekend for 7 months having me come into his office and going over my screenplay line by line - asking me questions about choices - hearing stories I told him that were NOT in the script - and asking why not? Signing off on each bit of progress and encouraging me along the way (after initially telling me that I was 10% away from a sale. Later on - after I did a huge amount of work - he admitted that he thought if he told me how much work he thought it needed - he'd scare me off). And within hours after I delivered the final draft to him and got on a plane for the East Coast - he called and told me that an Oscar nominated producer wanted to speak to me. The script was optioned - my first deal - and my entrance into the WGA. Another agent - who repped me for almost 10 years - and through 2 agencies - was extremely hands on. She read all my work. Occasionally gave me notes. Encouraged me to write a new spec when she took me with her to CAA after being at a small literary boutique type agency - and then sold it in a bidding war. And that's another point about agents - if you are repped by a BIG agency - you're career IS being managed - because you have a primary agent - and then everyone else. The entire lit department is behind you. Your work can be packaged with their star actor or director clients. Managers tend to be lone wolves - most of them ex-agents. Also - Managers can take packaging fees - the same as agents - but if an agency packages a project - they DON'T take a commission. Agents can't be producers on your project. Managers can. I am NOT in the U.K. I've worked in the US only my entire career. Managers also agent. They do what an agent does - but take a bigger piece of the pie. Your pie. One of my agents was an ex-entertainment attorney - and for the first 5 years of our "partnership" - she didn't just "make deals" - she also negotiated all the money - and did my contract. When that was no longer an option - I was working too often, she had too many clients - and she said she had been out of the legal end of it long enough that she didn't want to cost me money by missing out on some legal detail beyond the boilerplate that would impact me negatively. And she gave me a list of lawyers who could take over that end. If that's not "managing" my writing career, I'm not sure what is. Saying a "manager manages" is rather simplistic. And to say that an agent "collaborates once in a while when a big deal goes down" is the same. I would say that every deal is a big deal. To a novice writer making their first - it's a BIG deal. To a veteran making a splash with a hot spec - it's also a big deal. I've been on both ends of the spectrum - and always with an agent - never with a manager. I've had agents leave agenting to "manage" so they could become a producer on another writer client's script turned film. I didn't go with them. I am not denigrating managers - I'm only saying that in my opinion - and my experience - there is little difference in the two - other than those enumerated above - and when you begin to work - you're going to want to hang on to as much of your end of things as possible. An agent gets 10%. The union gets 1 and 1/2%. You can sign with an attorney who gets 5%. Then the state and the feds take their cut in taxes. I had paychecks - that by the time they got to me - were less than 50% of what I'd earned. Managers are not capped at 10% on commissions - so that's a bigger cut you're giving away to someone who essentially does what an agent does - and not as well - or as connected (in most cases) as an agent at a powerhouse agency. It's not all about the money - don't get me wrong - and I don't know the specifics of what Sylvia heard at this conference - but she said that in the UK - they don't have managers - and "agents do it all". From my experience - in the US - agents do it all as well.

As an actor, I used to worry about every audition trying to guess what casting directors and directors are looking for.. But then I just LET IT GO and that's when I started getting more callbacks, booked a role in an upcoming comedy with Zac Efron, and just co-produced and acted in a short film which looks very promisisng. So from now on, after every audition, or any rejection, I sing along to LET IT GO! haha :))) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

@Michael Eddy - a great breakdown of your experiences for us all to learn from. Thank you.

@Michael Eddy Thanks for sharing. Lots of useful info there.

Thanks @michael I appreciate your explanation!

Phil, Jeff & Jody - my pleasure. Olga makes a good point - hanging out here with a bunch of screenwriters. A writer can hide behind their words. Literally (get it?). They're judged (and accepted or rejected) based on their story-telling. On what's on the page. That's why oftentimes, even when a producer reads a script that intrigues them - but they don't buy - they still ask for a meeting (from the agent) to "put a face with the name". Easier to remember the next go round when an assignment might be generated or a script optioned. For Olga - and all actors - they're judged not only on their talents - and "rightness" for a given role - but also on how they look - and can be rejected on that basis alone. Too tall. Too short. Looks too young. They don't want freckles. It can be arbitrary and that alone makes it a tougher kind of a "no" to deal with. It can feel like being rejected personally. "They don't like ME", whereas for us - they didn't like a piece of writing, but it's not a personal rejection. I have 2 kids who aspire to being actors - my daughter is about to embark on "real life" in musical theater (maybe she can audition for Disney's "FROZEN" on Broadway - set for 2018...). I've told them all my war stories - as enumerated here on the threads of Stage 32 - their whole lives - as a writer - to try to steel them for what life will be like as actors. But like me, they're both passionate about what they want to do - and that's what you need at your core - the passion, the belief in yourself - as either a writer or an actor. There will be plenty of naysayers and trust me - rejections that can run in the 90th percentile - but it only takes that one "yes" to put you on the road to your dreams. So - believe in yourself - persevere - and be great at what you do. And hope you're lucky as well - because trust me - that plays a part too. Sometimes - right place and timing can have as much to do with success as anything else. And like Olga said, "let it go" - relax (as much as possible), try not to "guess" what the casting directors are looking for - just let your talent shine and come to the forefront. Same with writers - don't try to anticipate the market - movies take too long to get made - and by the time you've "guessed" - the market has changed. Write a story that YOU want to tell. A movie that YOU'D pay to see. And let the rest happen. Olga - congrats on the Efron comedy. Noticed that you live in Honolulu - have you ever booked a job on "Hawaii Five O"? Fun show. I know they hire a lot of local actors and actresses on the islands. And that theme music still gets me going every time I hear it.