Screenwriting : Formatting question by Roxanne Paukner

Roxanne: I suppose you could use the dual dialogue mode and format your scene something like this:

Thanks, Phillip. I think that will work.

The trouble may be that come to mind has no meaning in cinema. Some means of externalization is necessary: a facial expression or gesture suggestive of recollection. Then there's voiceovers, flashbacks à la scenes or montages, or a character talking to herself or to another. If one can think like a director and/or editor, it should be straightforward to get it into 4 lines or less of visual or audible action.

Roxanne: You are most welcome. You could also go old school and have bubbles with the faces of the other characters speaking, as their quotes are going through the protagonist's mind.

This sounds like V.O. to me...

BTW dual dialog is usually reserved for simultaneous speech, as when Spielberg makes several characters talk over one another.

AS: if you reread Roxanne's post, she said the dialog overlaps and she wants to conserve space. That's the reason I suggested the dual dialogue.

Overlapping might be suggested by the writer, but occurs to me that the director and actors would ultimately work out their own delivery. Maybe insert a parenthetical note in action instead of using specialty dialog formatting... I once fooled around with DD but found it messed with page breaks and saved little space, if any.

The potential is in eliminating the excess white space and cue redundancy & inefficiency of ping-pong dialog between just two characters. But DD blocks (in the current FadeIn Pro release anyway) do not do well with page breaks, nor support CONT'D tags. And anyway, extended back-and-forth dialog usually benefits from interspersed action, minimizing any page-efficiency gains from DD blocks.

Page space does matter when the script is pushing 120 pages. All things equal, trimming or combining action and dialog, using DD if appropriate are useful if the script needs shortening. Conversely, dumping DD blocks, adding white space to bulk up page count.

If you really want to save space, don't write anything at all. That will really cater to folks with short attention spans. What was this topic about again?

You have to make this clear to the reader and later to the production team, so don't worry about space. I'm sure there are some actor directives that can be cut somewhere else.

In DAN MAXXX'S head, he remembers a past conversation while approaching the door to the Senior Citizen's Home. PAST CONVERSATION IN HIS HEAD PHILLIP E. HARDY (OS) So we sell 50% of our production to each one. DAN MAXXX (OS) But that's 100 old ladies....that's 5,000%! BILL COSTANTINI (OS) No, Dan.....it's 200 old ladies! DAN MAXXX (OS) Then that's...10,000%! How can that be? PHILLIP E. HARDY (OS) Dan, we're artists - not mathematicians! BILL COSTANTINI (OS) Now go dooooo that voodoooooo that you do sooooooo wellllllll! BACK TO THE PRESENT Dan Maxxx opens the door to the Senior Citizen's Home. A PURPLE-HAIRED GERIATRIC smiles as he enters. PURPLE-HAIRED GERIATRIC Hello, Mr. DeMille! She giggles. Her eyes twinkle like stars. PURPLE-HAIRED GERIATRIC I mean...Mr. DeMaxxx! Dan Maxxx kisses her hand. Then her wrist. Then her forearm. DAN MAXXX Hello, my darling! Are you ready to become the star that you were always destined to be?

Bill: that fills a lot of white space. But I think it'll work. However, I take umbridge and Cambridge with you impugning my math skills. To paraphrase Yogi, "ninety percent of being a success is half mental."

Thank you, Bill, for a good example and a good laugh!

Phillip, not writing anything could solve a lot of other problems, right? ;)

Ah, yes, the Alfred E. Neuman school of screenwriting: "155 Pages and counting... What—me worry?"

Roxanne: glad you enjoyed the laugh - and the example! Phillip E. Hardy - "Umbridge?" "Impugn?" God darn it, Mr. Hardy....you sure talk fancy for a Texas cowboy feller!

Shit Billy! I spelled Umbridge wrong. you know spellun ain't my strong soot.