Mister Jeff Bollow, an "actor" and "producer" has put together a series on youtube for screenwriters. Uncle Phil has watched this tape and I approve the content of this "how to" video. This was my favorite qoute: "Dialogue is a function of the character and a function of the story." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omF_1Ep7Sx0&list=PLYVG1tYuFO3bRhxOth6seK...
Great content share, Phil. Thanks buddy.
Jorge: You are welcome. This series is worth a look.
Owen: Great and I always enjoy reading your views.
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Dan: Agreed! Eva is a talent and particularly a good comedic actress.
And I often watch low budget movies made by hacks with bad dialogue and acting. My pet peeve with cheapies are the fight scenes are hideous without fight coordinators that know how to make it look real. I watched one two weeks ago where some of the acting was really good but marred by watching guys pulling their punches and a gunfight that was pathetic.
Uncle Phil
Fight scenes are tough to do, primarily safety concerns for Actors. Takes lots of money to hire top stunt coordinators and Time to shoot. The stuff you see in Matrix, John Wick, Creed, Atomic blonde- hand to hand combat takes weeks to prep and practice. The massage parlor fight scene in Rush Hour 2 took two weeks to shoot for 1-minute screen time.
Senorita Justice - She's dangerous....she's smooth...and she always gets her man!
In 2004...Dan MaxXx wrote a script with a Latina as the main character, and that got made into a film. Not many other people here can say that. (In 2004, I optioned a script with an African-American female as the co-lead, but it never got made into a film.)
But Dan MaxXx is a stud!
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Dan: Without fight coordinators, or even good martial arts guys or boxers, it really shows. But even bigger budget shows and movies can suck. For example, the recent Iron Fist series on Netflix suffered and received criticism for some less than stellar fight choreography. And I'm sure the rehearsal is worth the effort. But I know it's not always financially feasible.
Bill C:
Our little Danny MaxXx, aka Daniel Wai Chu, has been involved as producer and writer on several moves that were made, including Vatos" and *Carlita's Secret. Mega props to this talented African American and former Asian American filmmaker. Proud to call him friend and associate.
I'm really looking forward to the premiere on the Spike Channel of Dan MaxXx's new unscripted show, "Let's Drink a Keg and Go Hunt Us Some Space Aliens!"
Bill C: I can't wait to see it!
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No my dialogue doesn't suck. It's mother f'ing awesome!...not.
These videos are part of my education...LOVE them! Keep um' comin' (Dialogue!)
Michael:
Nice of you to say.
Good points are made here. My approach to dialogue is to tell as much of the story as you can WITHOUT it. In other words, someone should be able to follow your film with the sound off. With that being said, write your dialogue but keep in mind your audience is receiving information many other ways too (i.e. body language, lighting, costumes, locations, camera angles, etc. etc.) Once you have your screenplay to a point where it is workable, hire some actors or get some actor friends together and conduct a table read. This will help you tremendously. It will be painfully obvious what dialogue is working and what dialogue is not. One of the things I do when polishing a draft is to evaluate EVERY line of dialogue and ask myself it is absolutely necessary to include.
Dan MaxXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: One question for you. Why does Carlita throw her gun down after shooting Angel?
Check this clip out from Carlita's Secret, starring the smoking hot Eva Longoria.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkVGG9ybZYI
Gregory:
Thanks for checking in and a table read can definitely help weed out poor or awkward dialogue. I also recommend that if writer has Final Draft, that they use the assign voices and let the computer read their screenplay aloud. I do this during editing to not only catch omitted words but also to determine what dialogue doesn't work. Anything that doesn't provide info or move the story along should probably be trimmed. It also helps eliminate superfluous narrative.
Great idea, Uncle Phil.
Gregory:
Thanks!
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Dan M:
What happened to you with Carlita's Secret is a very common scenario with writers. However, I hail you for getting your script made into a film. More importantly, young Eva Longoria looks so smoking hot in that scene and she spouting 60% of your original dialogue. Well done!
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Yes, Dan - Congrats on getting your script transformed into a film. I have a professional screenwriter friend who has written for all the major studios and has gotten paid handsomely for the past 30 years. But nothing every made it to the screen. Not one script. Finally a script of his has been produced last year and the film is terrific. Anyway, yay you!
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Reasons Dan MaxXx May Have Been Fired from Senorita Justice
1. He ate all the crab meat from the lunch truck 10 days in a row.
2. He was selling after-hours tours of the sets to German tourists.
3. The producer lost a bundle in Dan's craps game.
4. He and Phillip Hardy got caught pre-selling Senorita Justice to Asian and Indian distributors.
5. He loaded the guns with real bullets for "enhanced-realism purposes".
Oh, that Dan!
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Bill C:
1. I might have taken some of that crab meat for my after hours script consultation with the lovely Dominican flower, Mirtha Michelle, who played Vanessa. In addition to the finest imitation crab, I recall Mirtha was also fond of the way I toasted her Cuban sandwich bun.
2. There is no truth to the rumor we pre-sold the film to the Indian Market. They couldn't come up with the cash.
3. There is absolutely no truth the rumor we buried one of the other producers in a landfill. We merely buried her up to her neck at the beach and it was all in good fun. By the way, Pam is alive and well, and now working as a Cracker Barrel manager in Sioux Falls.
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Very interesting video, thanks for sharing. Better than that is reading the comments on this post. I'm learning more from you guys talking about your work than from screenwriting "gurus" who have zero filming track record. Thanks for that, very much appreciated.
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Martina: Bless your heart! We do a lot of jivin' here. But we're also here to help.
The story you share educate us, the jiving entertain us! :)
Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed it
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Dan MaxXx and Bill Costantini I wanna hang out with you guys if we ever get the chance! You guys have the prefect attitudes for this business - realistic and humble view of yourselves in this biz!
My example about dialogue - in 2000 I wrote and co-produced a very B thriller (800K budget) called The Harvesters. My first attempt at screenwriting. I was so proud! Even when we were shooting, I had no idea how crappy the dialogue was (let's not even talk about the poor production value). It wasn't until I was sitting in my living room screening the delivered film with family, friends and teammates, that I realized just how bad it was.
I literally couldn't stay in the room.
If at all possible, get a table read done. Please, please! :)
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Dan MaxXx - ha ha! Comps are better than crappy dialogue, yes!
Look no further for cr@p dialogue than Halle Berry's 2004 Catwoman. Sure, it has an unsympathetic lead, nauseous camerawork, awful CGI, a scenery-chewing cast, and bad-LSD-trip editing, but the dialogue is horrifyingly camp and unbelievable. Other than all that it's a great flick.
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If you haven't had a chance to do any acting (great for learning to write dialog) I suggest reading a few plays - read them aloud - feel them.
That's a fine suggestion Monette Bebow-Reinhard