Hello Everyone! This is my first attempt using the lounge to reach out for help so I hope what I am asking isn't inappropriate or ambitious to request...
I've been revising my pilot for a contest deadline coming up on the 31st. I am feeling okay about how it's coming along so far but I really need some good, constructive feedback on the first 9 pages only, and I need it back relatively quick so I can apply it to the final draft I submit. I need feedback and maybe suggestions on what could be improved (but only if you want to) on the following aspects:
- if the dialogue, feels natural or if it's too expositional.
- If the bond I'm trying to establish between the characters is believable and paced well
-if you can follow the action clearly or if i wrote too much in the descriptions or too little.
- if the characters voices feel distinct and if you find them endearing or at least interesting enough to see what happens next.
I know it's asking a lot and in very little time but I would be eternally grateful and I would most definitely return the favor.
Thank you!
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I would be up for taking a look.
That would be amazing! How should I send it to you?
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As would I - peer review and feedback is what this place is all about.
Thank you! How should I send it to you?
If the deadline is the 31st of March - I can't help. If you're talking April/May; I'd be happy to provide a few notes.
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Hi, Leah! I know this may not help this go-around, but in the future, I would definitely check out the "Script Services" tab here on Stage 32. You can receive 3-5 pages of notes from an Industry Reader in 72 hours or less! I've done it and it was invaluable. It was extremely thorough and really helped me with how to move forward, what worked and what didn't. I would definitely recommend, at least for future scripts! All my best for the contest!
I'd be happy to take a look.