Screenwriting : Feedback by Devante Wilson

I haven't really read your story, I simply gave it a quick scan. As Barry said, your formatting is completely out. The best advice I can give you is to find some free screenwriting software (don't use Word) and read plenty of professional screenplays. Look at how the pros format and mimic their style.

Welcome to Stage 32. I learned a lot about screenwriting skills, which are different from writing scripts for documentaries and news segments. Jason Mirch, Director of Script Services, gave me a 30-day free trial to the Writers Room, which I joined after the trial period because it offered me so much more than just networking on the lounges. You should try us out. Just e-mail Jason at J.Mirch@stage32.com for your free 30-day trial to the Writers Room. It a great place to network online through Zoom meetings with other screenplay writers. Hope to meet you online.

Hi Devante. I enjoyed the world you created, but as others have said, you need to find a screenwriting software to help you format the screenplay. Also, before you post a logline etc. make sure there are no spelling errors. I saw a few in your synopsis and script. Google "screenplay formatting" and you'll find plenty of free articles on this subject.

Too many commas in the logline.

Barry, what are you talking about? The format is *******. Delete that screenplay from this site, go on Google, learn how to format a screenplay correctly, fix it, then come back in here and post it again. If someone does something shit, dont tell them its awesome. Its misleading and confusing. And as others have stated, the logline is too generic. If hes writing for fun, then who cares, do anything you want. But otherwise, I would be doing some serious re-drafting and knowledge attainment.

Barry John Terblanche we should take Marty’s guidance. Marty your comment is ******* you should delete your profile and go to Google and find out how people act.

See Barry, it is a great formula for feedback.

We all start somewhere and we should all try to help Devante, not discourage him. Devante, I would recommend reading some screenplays of movies that you like to get a sense of the phrasing, timing, etc. Of course screenplay format is important and there are many websites that can provide you help with it. Don't let people get you down--the hardest step to take is putting your stuff out there, everything else just comes with experience. Good luck!

Last year, an optioned screenwriter friend of mine happened across a screenplay on a writing critique site. From a technical viewpoint, the screenplay was poor. The formatting was all wrong. Infodumps in the sluglines. Untagged dialogue. Overwritten action lines that treated actors as puppets. A whole heap of rookie mistakes. My friend spent a long time going through the whole thing, trying to help the writer out.

As a member of that same site, I did see the script myself, although time didn't permit me to spend anywhere near as much time as my friend did on it, though I did provide a page of notes on areas where the writer should try to improve.

My friend told me that earlier this year, she received an email from the writer, thanking her for investing so much time in her screenplay and teaching her all she could. Off the back of it, the writer was accepted on a fellowship, has a single-camera sitcom in early development, a manager, and an agent, and has promised my friend that if she's ever in a position to repay her with a staff job or such, she won't hesitate.

I share this little anecdote because Barry, Craig, and David are correct. Belittling people isn't helpful, especially when they're just starting out. Investing time in people and encouraging them can bring about its own rewards. I only wish I'd been able to spend more time on that writer's script myself.