Screenwriting : A logline. My first. by AJ Núñez

This is one of the screenplays I am working on right now.I write articles on personality and talent development for newspapers, magazines, and websites. I recently started focusing on writing a novel and various screenplays suited for tv and the big screen.

I suggest researching what a logline is and if you happen to be a part of the Writer's Room watch the seminar by Audrey Knox and listen to the Pitch Tank when producers critique loglines. As yours is not really a logline as your logline needs characters, an inciting incident, goals, arcs, etc. You must be specific rather than an overview! Best

Thanks. I was following some examples I found in the forum, some profiles and blogs. I understand what you are saying. Will go back and review. So probably my synopsis is closer to what the logline should be?

AJ Núñez, for a logline, you want something like: "After ______ (something happens/the inciting incident), a _______ (the protagonist with an adjective) tries to _______ (goal of story) so ________ (stakes)."

You might want to add the antagonist in the logline.

The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline.

I like writing one-sentence loglines, but they can be two sentences.

Example #1:

"After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff must defend a dog treat factory so they won't steal food that's meant for hungry dog families."

Example #2:

"A dysfunctional couple must work together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help."

Thanks so much! Long story short; for some reason I jumped right in after reading a logline and synopsis from a specific profile, wrote in a similar manner, and differently to the example, I got honest feedback, which is great. I think it is better now.

Close to reaching his 50th birthday Franco takes on a new project. This time is different. He uses all the skills he had developed over the course of, what he now realizes was a prodigious life, and sure enough, he finds himself nominated for an Academy Award. This event triggers a trait of his personality that pulls him back to the quandary again. This can only mean two things. It is time to leave the phantasm behind, or to start all over again.

Is this the logline, AJ Núñez? It reads more like a short synopsis.

I had to google words "quandary", "phantasm", "prodigious"

No stakes in this story and it feels like internal struggle than external actions for a camera.

Thanks to all of you. I am taking notes and definitively will put all your remarks into consideration. Not sure that this is a proper example of internal struggle vs action but let's see : the actor slaps a fellow colleague in what is clearly an inappropriate reaction to a comment. The internal struggle is for the audience to analyze and make their own conclusions and the screenwriter only takes care of displaying actions/emotions? It is not my intention to keep you all replying, it does not bother me, but I know you are busy professionals. Again, thanks to all for taking the time.

AJ Núñez 25 words are what Steven Spielberg likes. No more than 2 sentences and know what goes into the logline - research research research. do not put names in the logline here is a link for you https://www.nfi.edu/logline-examples/

Chiming in. Keep it short! And intriguing. Good luck

Close to reaching his 50th birthday Franco takes on a new project. This time is different. He uses all the skills he had developed over the course of, what he now realizes was a prodigious life, and sure enough, he finds himself nominated for an Academy Award. This event triggers a trait of his personality that pulls him back to the quandary again. This can only mean two things. It is time to leave the phantasm behind, or to start all over again..................... I think it is too conceptual and wordy. Best of luck.

Thanks Howard, besides from learning the actual concepts of logline, synopsis, etc I think I am going to have to ponder if I should be doing my screenwriting in Spanish instead of English. As of right know I am using Spanish (and some Italian) in my everyday life and when writing i am translating as it goes.Thanks, again.

Good luck..

People have the right drift re loglines, but what a story goldmine! Yeah mine loglines more, hit all these notes, you have a story locked and loaded. (sorry for the metaphor —;golf channel, believe it or not.)

These are some links that I used to learn how to write a logline. I also used a logline generator, which helped because it forced me to question my story/story elements more.

https://scriptmatix.com/logline-generator/

https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/write-compelling-logline-examples/

https://nofilmschool.com/how-to-write-a-logline

https://screencraft.org/blog/101-best-movie-loglines-screenwriters-can-l...

Hey AJ Núñez Here are some I wrote....in an attempt to capture what I THINK is your idea?

1. After receiving an Academy Award, filmmaker Dallas M. must choose: Give in to the addictive demons that taunt him….or risk failing for freedom.

2. After receiving an Academy Award, a Hollywood filmmaker must choose: Embrace the addictive demons that possess him….or make the jump for redemption.

3. After receiving an Academy Award, a Hollywood filmmaker must choose: Give in to the taunting demons that possess him....or risk losing it all for freedom.

Dallas Maddox, Thank you so much for your generosity!