Hello! Any writer, agent, producer or someone would like to read my screenplay? Looking for feedback or any advice I can get. Thank you.
Here's my logline :
While traveling across the country with her ailing father, a troubled young woman entrenched in a life of killing undergoes an unexpected shift when she crosses paths with a charismatic stranger at their latest stop.
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Hey, Michael Joseph. Have you thought about getting feedback through Stage 32 (www.stage32.com/scriptservices)?
You did great with the first part of your logline ("While traveling across the country with her ailing father, a troubled young woman entrenched in a life of killing"), but I think the second part is vague ("undergoes an unexpected shift when she crosses paths with a charismatic stranger at their latest stop"). I suggest changing the second part to the story goal and the stakes.
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Hey Maurice Vaughan thanks for the feedback I see what you mean I'll make those changes.
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You're welcome, Michael Joseph.
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The script services page here can help.
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Hi Michael Joseph, fellow upcoming screenwriter here. I would love to have a look at it