Screenwriting : Screenplay by Michael Joseph

Michael Joseph

Screenplay

Hello! Any writer, agent, producer or someone would like to read my screenplay? Looking for feedback or any advice I can get. Thank you.

Here's my logline :

While traveling across the country with her ailing father, a troubled young woman entrenched in a life of killing undergoes an unexpected shift when she crosses paths with a charismatic stranger at their latest stop.

Maurice Vaughan

Hey, Michael Joseph. Have you thought about getting feedback through Stage 32 (www.stage32.com/scriptservices)?

You did great with the first part of your logline ("While traveling across the country with her ailing father, a troubled young woman entrenched in a life of killing"), but I think the second part is vague ("undergoes an unexpected shift when she crosses paths with a charismatic stranger at their latest stop"). I suggest changing the second part to the story goal and the stakes.

Michael Joseph

Hey Maurice Vaughan thanks for the feedback I see what you mean I'll make those changes.

Maurice Vaughan

You're welcome, Michael Joseph.

Ewan Dunbar

The script services page here can help.

Shawn Day

Hi Michael Joseph, fellow upcoming screenwriter here. I would love to have a look at it

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