The rule I have learned is that after writing at most 4 lines with instructions, one should start the next sentence on a new line.
Is that rule still used?
I have multiple short scenes, often at the same location.
The question is then if I should keep separate the description of what the place looks like, respectively what some character does.
Here is an example :
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY
Early April. An deserted cemetery features a church, a parking lot, a bench, a trash can, and a
hedge.
PAULINE, 30, exits the cemetery grieving.
Can alternatively be written as :
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY
Early April. An deserted cemetery features a church, a parking lot, a bench, a trash can, and a
hedge. PAULINE, 30, exits the cemetery grieving.
What alternative do production companies prefer?
And since I have written in the slug line that the place is a cemetery, should I repeat in the scene description that the place is a cemetery?
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I don't think that's a rule, Göran Johansson, but it's easier to read shorter paragraphs. Most of my paragraphs are 1-2 action lines. 3 action lines sometimes. 4 action lines if need. When the action changes, I'll start a new paragraph. If I'm writing a fast-paced scene or scary scene, I'll use more one-sentence paragraphs. If I want to slow down the scene, I'll use longer paragraphs. If I want to bring attention to something, I'll put it on a separate line.
Since you wrote cemetery in the slug line, you don't have to write it again in the scene, but you could write things in the scene that'll tell readers that it takes place in a cemetery, like mentioning headstones and flowers.
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Once again, there is no rule. You just need to be efficient, have good flow, show confidence, demonstrate a strong artistic voice, and try to keep the pacing to one page per minute of screen time. Some people prefer white space, some enjoy dense text. What's critical is that you are delivering something you personally believe in rather than what you think people want to see.
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Fun exercise.
EXT. ABANDONED CEMETERY - DAY
What once was a majestic church. PAULINE, 30, drags her heavy feet past the rotten bench and tosses her cigarette at a trash can, buried in typical April snow. The wild grown hedge tries to hide the parking lot that offers a new beginning.2 people like this
My mantra is, "white space is your friend." In other words, keep paragraphs of action and also dialogue short & tight. This makes it a faster & easier read, and is less daunting than a page full of type.
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When the action suddenly changes start a new paragraph.
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Rules are meant to be broken. If it looks like a heavy block of text, spacing it out is not a bad thing. But it's up to you.
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I know it's sometimes rude to answer a sincere question with a question, but your example raised all sorts of questions in my mind. Why April? Does it impact your story? Why a church cemetery? Same issue. What feelings do you want to evoke from your setting? Feelings about Pauline? About her grief? About the reasons she's in the cemetery? Or about the cemetery itself? I'd worry less about lines than filling whatever lines you opt for with evocative words.
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Modifiers. What's grieving, cemetery or Pauline.
Present Tense. Avoid Present Participle (ing).
No 'an' before deserted. It's 'A'. A trash can? We don't care about what's there unless they're integral to the scene. Such detail falls under describing a movie instead of telling a story.
EXT. CHURCH - CEMETERY - DAY
An early April chill in the air.
Alone, PAULINE (30s) cries as she plods to the parking lot.
Then again, it's irrelevant. Producers here and in your country don't care about such things.
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Dear friends, many thanks for the large number of comments.
You are so eager to help that I hope as many screenwriters as possible read what you suggested.
OK, start a new line often.
More comments?
Daniel, you asked a specific question. The first scene is in early April because the end is in late May. In later scenes the bench, the trash can and so on are used.
You're welcome, Göran Johansson.