Screenwriting : Has anyone found a more economical script than Alien(1979) by Dan O'Bannon & Ronald Shusett? by Paul Rivers

Paul Rivers

Has anyone found a more economical script than Alien(1979) by Dan O'Bannon & Ronald Shusett?

After reading Alien(1979) script and watching the movie, I am wondering how many pages did Ridley Scott, the Director of Alien(1979) need to write to bring his vision (and his version) of that extremely sparse script to film, I am guessing 10, 20, 50, to 101 pages of notes per page of script.

We, the Screenwriters real requirement is to present a CLEAR compelling (STORY in a genre that marketing can understand) and show some underwhelming visuals(Alien1979) to inspire a gifted filmmaker's vision...

Take your script and gut it until is it just as devoid of detail as Alien(1979) is...

How many pages of notes would you need per page of script to get your vision of your script on film???

Use your phone and become the filmmaker of your own stories.

Dan MaxXx

Which draft version did you read? Most versions of the Alien script publicly available online is by Walter Hill and from what I remember listening to podcasts and YT filmmaking channels, Scott was hired when the script was approved for production. I think he storyboarded every scene.

Paul Rivers

Dan MaxXx, I am looking at ALIEN title page of Revised Final, June 1978, rev thru Oct. 4, 1978.

Alien by Walter Hill and David Giler . Based on the screenplay by Dan O'Bannon. Story by Dan o'Bannon and Ronald Shusett. Brandywine Production. The script is 105 pages long and poorly copied. It has scene revisions from early revisions too.

Ridley Scott had a lot of work to do.

CJ Walley

Feel free to show us the path forward to success rather than tell us to follow your dogmatic advice.

Driver is often used as an example of a sparse script. Pretty much any director who prefers people to adlib is just working off a few lines. Fury Road was more storyboard than screenplay. Some scripts are wordy, some scripts aren't. A lot of it is down to style. To say one is better than another is pompous.

To me, the Alien script reads like a haiku poem, and that's not a compliment.

Paul Rivers

CJ Walley, Driver and Fury road are a good examples of sparse script and likely required a lot more storyboarding to visualize. Bummer about not liking the Alien Script and I respect your opinion.

I'm forging out on new path of filmmaker to get my stories made. I have given enough time and money to the screenwriting path. I have concluded that an Exec choice may more about marketing and profits than anything else. Unfortunately since 2018, I have fallen asleep while watching their choices. Something changed, maybe?

My pompous little dogma is for other storytellers who become frustrated not being able to get their stories made, please do not give up on your stories but find a non traditional method to get your stories made.

I meantime I will be doing a lot of storyboarding some of it at Prewrite. It is good site for storytellers to discover their vision on the path to make film.

CJ Walley

Yeah, I'm close with David Rogers who created Prewrite and his business partner Trent. Great guys. Great product. A wise choice.

Go carve that path. For me it was starting right at the bottom with short films and then getting into the trenches of the indie world. Still a long way to go and I've yet to find a place for my specs.

Jack Garman

I just took up the free version of Prewrite to see what kind of results I can get.

Jack Garman

If you have any tips I'll likely use them but it looks like it's intuitive enough to get me started.

Jack Garman

Life from 2017 by Wernick and Reese is succinct and has an exceptional ending. Is that what you had in mind?

Paul Rivers

CJ Walley Thanks for your encouragement. Good Luck.

Rebecca James

Paul Rivers... I heard first-hand that George Millar is well known for storyboarding his entire films first and then bringing in a writer to create the script. It ensures that he gets the action sequences to dominate his work.

Paul Rivers

Jack Garman I will look out for Life from 2017. Prewrite is one the best.

Paul Rivers

Rebecca James, Curious does George storyboard off of his idea, outline, treatment, first draft... When I saw Fury Road I thought of it as a very well designed out and back rollercoaster with very little dialogue.

John Clive Carter

The Chaser, 2008 Korean movie. I was in awe. Every scene, every line of dialogue was incredibly economical. I've never seen the script, but the film was a masterclass of restraint.

Nick Phillips

Totally agree with the notion of picking up your phone and making something Paul Rivers! And goddamn do i love the movie Alien.

Rebecca James

Paul Rivers to the best of my knowledge (from a friend who went to dinner with Georges around 2006) he storyboards all of his ideas as per inspa puts them in order then brings in a writer. I am not sure if this applied to his early career.

Jack Garman

Life, from 2017 by Wernicke and Reese will be on Peacock for free as of Dec. 1. Maybe try to avoid spoilers if you intend to watch. The ending is 'messed uuuuuup!' to use a secret writer's technical term.

DD Myles

Paul Rivers Did you read the "original " Dan O Bannon script with the art drawings and a male protagonist? (I think I still have a copy)We did a breakdown of that script at a seminar. I'll never forget the legendary late Gary Shusett's version he told us at a coffee/luncheon about how his brother Ronald helped Dan shape the story. In this alternate version of Alien, as conceived during the Paramount phase, the xenomorphs may have been treated more as a haunting, environmental hazard than the singular antagonists we know them as today. The Space Jockey’s role in this version of the story seems even more poignant, a warning signal, an alien who made a fateful mistake, perhaps attempting to quarantine the infection but instead falling victim to it. In this context, the distress signal becomes a ghostly echo, a desperate plea not to approach, rather than a traditional call for help.

Ultimately, Paramount passed on Alien, citing concerns over its cost and ambiguity. It’s ironic, considering the studio’s later investment in films like Star Trek: The Motion Picture. 20th Century Fox would go on to greenlight the project, albeit in a streamlined version that focused more tightly on the terror of the xenomorph itself. The broader mysteries—the pyramids, the ancient civilization, and the vast mythology of the Space Jockey—were scaled back.

Ridley Scott’s eventual execution for Fox cemented Alien as a masterpiece of atmospheric horror and science fiction. Still, the shadow of that "Paramount version" lingers. One can’t help but wonder what could have been if those original elements had remained intact. Perhaps we’d have received a film more closely aligned with Prometheus from the start—a sweeping, cosmic horror tale about the folly of hubris and the haunting echoes of civilizations past.

For those of us who return to Alien again and again, looking at it through this lens is an act of speculative archaeology in itself. What if the Space Jockey wasn’t just a victim of the xenomorph but part of something far greater? What if its warning wasn’t just about one alien species but about the inherent dangers of delving into ancient, forgotten forces? These unanswered questions only add to the film’s enduring mystique. Perhaps Ridley Scott was right: some mysteries are best left unexplained, lingering in the dark corners of our imagination.

Paul Rivers

DD Myles I have never heard of the "Original" Dan O'Bannon script with art drawings and a male protag... Could you post a page?

My son told me about the Space Jokey role, seems very compelling but, hard to contain/sell in a feature length film?

Wow, your questions on speculative archaeology are intriguing. I had thought the ship in Prometheus like a fence to contain the humans and WEYLAND was a very bad dog who brought home flees.

It seems like the script I saw and posted about above was extra simplified version of Alien(1979).

Time to make some film.

DD Myles

Paul Rivers I really hope I can find it, (I saved it on an old computer years back.) The script was elaborate in world-building even with bad grammar and typos. Only two events got the film greenlit - the Facehugger and the chest-bursting scene!! Amazing!!

Ewan Dunbar

The script for Die Hard is very good. Almost as fun to read as it is to watch the film.

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