Screenwriting : Showing Emotion on the Page - How Do You Do It? by Leonardo Ramirez 2

Hey, Leonardo Ramirez 2. It's tricky sometimes showing emotion on the page without over-explaining it.

I bought "The Emotion Thesaurus" way back. It helped me write emotions. I need to get another copy.

One of my go-to techniques is over-explaining the emotion on purpose, then rewriting the line until I'm not over-explaining it.

Ah so you go big and then pair it down Maurice Vaughan - nice technique! That way, what's important remains.

I think it is hard to distill how I show emotion on the page. It is tricky part of writing. Thanks for sharing your resource. When I read professional scripts, I print the scripts and underline phrases/descriptions that stand out to me. Then when I am done reading them I copy out all the underlined portions on a single tonal reference sheet. This will then become a quick read I reference when I am looking for inspiration for certain styles of writing. So in short, I write emotion by being moved by good writing.

Thanks, Leonardo Ramirez 2. Yeah, it's easier for me that way sometimes.

Tamara Green - you're going about it as writers should - by reading scripts! We're encouraged time and again to read others scripts to make our writing better and that's exactly what you've done. That's the way to do it Tamara!

You're always so kind Asmaa Jamil - that means a lot. And it sounds like you're close to what Maurice mentioned - going big and then eliminating. I think that's great. Better to start with more than enough and then trim it.

Leonardo Ramirez 2, brilliant tip, thank you! I really need that tool in my kit. As a non-native English speaker, I often wrestle with expanding my character vocabulary, especially when crafting distinct voices.One of my biggest challenges is nailing the New Yorker tone in dialogue. It’s not just the accent, it’s the rhythm, the attitude, the subtext. Do you have any go-to references that showcase different American regional voices, especially New York? I’d love to study how those tonal shifts play out in character dynamics.Grateful for any guidance you can share! Thank you my friend.

That's a great question Sandra Isabel Correia and unfortunately, I don't. I'm from NY (was born there) so I know how it sounds (I used to "tawlk" like that!) but I think it would be a great resource. I've read that the best thing to do is to include a language note in the script either as a parenthetical or a note in the description that describes the character as having a thick Brooklyn or Bronx accent and then writing it out normally.

It's a great book series. I have several of them.

Leonardo Ramirez 2, that’s a very good solution my friend :)) Thank youuu. I will do that! Makes it easier:)) In Portugal we speak Portuguese, but I am from south Portugal, so I have south accent and we call it: Algarvio because South region calls Algarve :))

That's interesting Sandra Isabel Correia - I just learned something about Portuguese accents. That's really neat!

I have this one and "The Negativity Thesaurus" Sandra Isabel Correia - will have to check for the others.

Thanks Leonardo Ramirez 2 :))

You're very welcome my friend Sandra Isabel Correia1

That's a great example Jay Gladwell - thank you for sharing!

You've got to feel the emotion deep inside. So when you write about it, it comes out as real. If you think you can fake it, it's a disservice to your story. For example, here's an excerpt from my screenplay "When Will I See You Again?". It's when the protagonist (Jessica, 18) realizes she's beginning to fall in love with Chris (19). She's been telling him to drop the idea of being her boyfriend and then this happens,

"Looking into his eyes she feels a flush of excitement. She tilts her face up, breathing intensity increases. Chris grabs her by the shoulders presses his body into her. Attacks her lips with his lips and tongue. She never imagined he possessed such prolific strength. She’s thrilled by his raw desire. The intensity of his lust. She feels herself falling under his control so she pushes away".

Now it actually helps that I experienced the above while in college but that was 1966. But as I began writing I felt it all again. And it actually help that I'm still in love with the woman that inspired Jessica. Still, it takes a lot to find the right words.

I just picked up a copy on Amazon. It looks like a great resource with a ton of favorable reviews.

Wow Michael Elliott 2 - that's pretty detailed - great description as well!. And you're right, it does take a lot to find the right words. So many rewrites...so little time.

Awesome Kimberly Shumate! Yeah it's fantastic. I don't write without it. I have a music stand with that and a copy of "The Hollywood Standard right beside my desk.

Thanks, Leonardo, for posting about this book. I'm always happy to get a qualified referral for writing help. K

You’re very kind Kimberly Shumate. Honored to share.

I can't wait to get this book. I checked out the sample pages. It's just what I need. Sometimes I just run out of words to say especially working on multiple projects.

Very interesting resource Leonardo Ramirez 2. A useful exercise that I know to depict original emotions is to watch people on the train, in the subway or at the café: you can discover a lot of little movements and expressions that during a normal conversation you wouldn't get.

Great question! For me, it usually starts with subtext and action — I try to think, “if the character couldn’t say what they feel, how would it still come through?” Often it’s in the small gestures, what they avoid, or how their dialogue contrasts with what they’re truly feeling.

I also like to imagine the scene as if I were acting it: what physical choices would I make to convey the emotion without words? That often gives me natural, specific cues to put on the page.

I haven’t used The Emotion Thesaurus yet, but now I definitely want to check it out — sounds like a fantastic resource!

I print out my scripts and then cry all over them. Then the executives will know that I really want my comedies to be produced.

I hope this resource helps as it continues to help me Mone't Bradley. Happy Writing!

I love that exercise Chiara Torrisi. I like doing this at restaurants when we're out. People have so many stories to tell (some joyous while others are heartbreaking) if we just watch.

Asia Almerico - asking this question, “if the character couldn’t say what they feel, how would it still come through?” is pure genius. Definitely something I'll be using moving forward. Thank you for sharing that!

Wyman Brent - that's hilarious man. At least, I hope that's.how it was meant!

Leonardo Ramirez 2, yes, I meant it to be funny. My twisted sense of humor again.

Love it Wyman Brent!

Describe microexpressions. Go look in a mirror and see what your face and body does when you say something with intense emotion.

Anger:

Teeth grit. Jaw tightens, is thrust forward. Eyes pop out. Hands clench. Then the mouth opens and facial colors change. Then the finger pointing and spittle.

If it escalates then you get the crazy eyes. Watch any demonstration. Look at the ones on the fringes.

Then comes the words.

I'm pretty sure I've gotten crazy eyes at some point Jon Shallit - great stuff! Thanks!

Crazy eyes are epidemic today. Political ragers. I could name some politicians with them, but do not dare. Big brother is watching.

This is such a great question, and you are already on the right track by using "The Emotion Thesaurus." The next step is making those cues unique to your character. Instead of "pacing," maybe they tighten their ponytail or compulsively clean their glasses.

You have got a solid handle on this. If you would ever like insight to help spot where telling might be creeping in, I will be happy to take a look at a chapter. me!

No, I'm not equating mine to anything political Jon Shallit. I get crazy eyes when I'm hangry.

Thanks so much for the kind offer Esther Sandra! It's very nice to meet you and thanks for the encouragement!

Emotion is the hardest thing to write in screenwriting.

Emotional writing

No, comedy is the hardest thing to write,

I have got to get this book!!

It’s a good one Bradford Richardson.

Michael Elliott 2 Funny you say that - I was just saying on another post that we’re watching “The Goldbergs” and I noticed how fast the dialogue moves.

Funny I have had this book for years but just got it out again. It’s a little formulaic but offers some good options!!

I spent about 14 years as a successful touring stand up comic (91-2005)and for the life of me, I can't put anything funny on paper.

Must buy when I have the money!!

Michael Elliott 2 I haven't read a script for "The Office" but from watching that show, the only thing I can theorize is that writers provide the framework while the actors do the rest. I could be way off, I just don't see all of Steve Carell's mannerisms being written in a description. I'd have to read a script and watch the show simultaneously to determine if there's any truth to that.

Leonardo, I wouldn't mind getting a copy of "The Emotion Thesaurus."

Me...I've used a couple of the cues you listed in the post (gazes that bound from place to place as well as pacing the floor).

Just thought of another one I like to use: Having a character's mouth fly open...without a sound coming out.

Jim Boston You mean like *Jaw drops - silence.

Leonardo Ramirez 2, this is one of my favorite books, and I keep it right next to my desk at all times!

It's definitely a must-have Ashley Renee Smith.

I just purchased mine and I can't wait to dive into it.

Let us know what you think Mone't Weeks !

Leonardo, you're absolutely right about that jaw-dropping silence!

I have this book and it is very helpful.

Good to hear from you Carol Ann Kennedy!

I collect descriptions from other sources, including reality, as a way to spark my own imagination.

Love it Debra Holland! Nothing like pulling from life itself.

Leonardo Ramirez 2 I believe that, in the end, a screenplay will be represented on screen in a way that is close to the writer’s imagination, but the final vision is largely shaped by the director — they are responsible for the final image of the script that becomes a visual work, not the writer.

Therefore, we should avoid relying on ready-made writing formulas. For example, clenched teeth or trembling can convey anger, a seizure, or sorrow. What truly matters is the final setup of the scene, which is shaped by details and dialogue. If a single word like “angry” is better than describing the reaction, then use it; if describing the reaction is more effective than labeling the emotion, then do that.

Ultimately, screenwriting is a craft — a craft free of sentimentality. It is a descriptive transfer of what happens in a scene to those who will bring it to the screen. It is a craft, a craft, a craft — not a literary genre.

Agreed Husin Alkhatib - I've always felt that we should hold our creations with an open hand, fully knowing that there will be others that join us in the journey and add their flavor to it. And that's a good thing. Thanks for sharing Husin!