This is a topic that I think is not covered enough. This is something all creatives experience. Actors, writers, directors, artists, et al. We all must find a healthy way of coping and dealing with rejection. We probably deal with reject more than acceptance and, I would say, we creatives experience more rejection than your average person.
When I go to audition, I try not to focus on not getting the part. I do my best and tell myself the outcome doesn't matter. If I am proud of my audition, I can let it go. Still, it has been heartbreaking when I don't cast for a part I know I can rock, I've played it before, and I know I blew castings' socks off. I am in a small pond, so if I didn't get cast for Lady M then who the f--- did? What did she do in her audition? Then, I go into, am I kidding myself? mode. If I can't get cast in a community theater then I must be deluding myself. Is this a sign to give it all up?
Also, there have been times, when I submit for an audition and I never get a response. No sides sent. Which means, I was rejected from even auditioning despite meeting the character description. How do I not take that personally?
That is my question for you. How do you handle rejection?
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Hi, Suzanne Bronson. I try to learn from rejection, and I move on and keep pitching/applying for jobs.
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Can you tell me more Maurice Vaughan How do you learn from rejection?
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Sure, Suzanne Bronson. Say I send an email query letter and hear back from the producer saying they want to read my script. If the producer reads the script and tells me why they passed on it, I'll keep those things in mind when I outline and write my next scripts.
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In acting, you don't have the luxury of knowing why you weren't cast, or even why you aren't allowed to audition.
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Rejection is just a part of the business. Things have changed with the advent of self-tapes. The good part is that we can tape our audition at home and not have to drive so much. The downside is that more actors are self-taping for that one role. I believe it is important to have other interests to occupy your time — otherwise you'll go crazy wondering if that call will come. I have had auditions where I thought I aced it and should get at least a callback. Didn't happen. I had an audition for an ensemble lead role in a Hallmark film that I was sure I wouldn't get...and booked it! One never knows. Rejection is part of this crazy business. I wrote a blog about it...
https://www.raywatters.com/post/tired-of-rejection-not-getting-any-roles...
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Suzanne Bronson, thank you for opening this conversation; it’s one so many creatives carry quietly, and it deserves far more space than it gets.
Rejection in this industry is uniquely personal because we are the product. Even when we tell ourselves not to take it to heart, it still finds its way in. And you’re right: the ratio of “no” to “yes” for actors, writers, directors, all of us, is higher than most people will ever experience in their careers.
Something you said really resonated: being proud of your audition. That’s a powerful anchor. You controlled the part that was yours to control, and that’s often the only part of this process that’s truly in your hands.
The harder moments: the near misses, the silence, the roles you know in your bones you could carry, those can shake even the most seasoned performers. But rejection in this industry rarely means what we think it means. It’s almost never about ability. It’s timing, or type, or chemistry with a partner, or a director’s private instinct, or ten tiny factors that have nothing to do with talent.
What I’ve seen help many actors (and writers, and anyone in the creative trenches) is reframing rejection as redirection. Every “no” narrows the path toward the opportunity that is meant for you. And often, that one turns out to be stronger, more aligned, and more creatively fulfilling than the one before it.
For me, it’s community that helps me push through it. Talking about it, normalizing it, reminding each other that this is a shared part of the path, not a personal failure. It’s allowing ourselves to feel the sting, then grounding back into the work. It’s trusting that momentum matters more than any single moment.
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Thank you Ashley Renee Smith That is what I want this post to be about. Us reminding each other that we are not alone on this journey, and yes, sometimes it does suck. If you need to vent, or, cry, or scream into your pillow, I want everyone to know Stage 32 is a safe place for that. Let it all out here, or dm me, or another mod. This is a judgement free zone.
I like what you said about allowing ourselves to feel the sting. It is important to acknowledge that. Though we may not know why we didn't get the part, and most likely has nothing to do with our personal talent, it does hurt sometimes. And it's ok to feel that. The key is "trusting that momentum matters more than any single moment." Emotions last 90 seconds. Feel the 90 seconds, then get back on the horse.
I remind myself of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
3. Don't Make Assumptions
4. Always Do Your Best
Three of those for sure I can apply to acting auditions.
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Reframing is a good idea Ashley Renee Smith Especially when you submit an audition request and don't get a response. I like to tell myself, "I guess they think I am way too experienced for their production." haha
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There was a time that I took things personally when I either did not get the audition, didn't get the callback, and if I got a callback (pin), I didn't book the role. What I found out was that I may have been a better actor than the one who booked the role, however, there were other reasons. The actor may have had a familial resemblance to one who was playing a relative. I may have been too tall, too short, to young, too old...and the list goes on. CDs simply do not have the time to tell everyone why they were not chosen. Sometimes we blame the CDs, however, they are not the ones who make the final decision. They only submit a number to the Director or Producer. I have watched this business change over the years. More people are auditioning for that one part. And, Suzanne Bronson, I have an audio somewhere that explains the Four Agreements. I love that!
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Suzanne Bronson personally speaking, I think we need to stop using ‘rejection’ as it’s such an emotive and personalised term. It’s just a ‘no’.
We need to take the emotional baggage out of the process, whether that’s auditioning, pitching or working on the finance side of productions.
I have just had a ‘no’ from a financier and it isn’t that there’s anything wrong with the project. They had actually contacted me about investing in the film and during the ‘dating’ process, their economic situation suffered a downturn in their business. This is not rejection, it’s just a no.
The no in auditioning was that the director didn’t think we were right for the part. In pitching, well, it could simply be that we had chosen the wrong producer to look at the project. With finance, as cited above, it had nothing to do with the film and everything to do with their economic position. As devastating as that was, we move on, brush the ‘nos’ off our feet and walk a few more miles to the next investor.
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Thank you for your thoughts Geoff Hall I totally understand what you're saying. For me, it's easier to see that for film and TV why I wasn't cast. I know it has nothing to do with me. But it's harder for me to take a no in theater. Especially community/college theater. I have not been cast, seen the play, and been like, "what the hell?"
Turns out, I have learned, there are a lot of politics when it comes to community theater. A person may be the better actor, but the company is most likely going to cast someone they have worked with before or they are friends with regardless of talent.
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Suzanne Bronson understood. Community theatre can be a viper’s nest of political intrigue.
My rub with ‘rejection’ is that we tend not to weigh up all the factors of a decision and take it purely personally. For me that is bad emotional intelligence and tends to undermine our confidence and self esteem. We become unsure of our talents and such negativity loves to hang around for the next audition or pitch.
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Suzanne Bronson at the risk of sounding superficial, recently I am experimenting with telling myself repeatedly like a mantra 'this or something better' when I experience rejection. I know it is easier said than done but it helps to uplift me a little.
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That's a good way to look at it Alexandra Stevens not attaching to the end results.. Something Mike Dooley would say. "This or better"