Hi, I'd love some feedback on my book blurb.
He thinks she is his savior; she knows he is the enemy.
Her trip to China was supposed to be a simple reunion with her sister—until she becomes a key witness against a human trafficking ring and identifies its leader, her former patient, Ryan Anderson.
Anna butts heads with the lead investigator, Agent Kang, every time they interact. She finds him arrogant, and he isn’t sure he trusts that her presence at the scene is a coincidence.
The only person she can lean on is her sister, but a rift forms when Anna pressures Hailee to give up the life she built and return to the States.
But going home only makes things worse.
Ryan follows Anna back to Boston, determined to pay back his life debt by integrating himself into the hospital where she works.
With Kang and Hailee 7,000 miles away, Anna is the only one who knows Ryan’s true identity. Every interaction risks exposing her— and she already knows the cost of crossing him.
3 people like this
This is a strong concept you’ve got clear stakes, tension, and a compelling character dynamic, especially with Ryan’s “enemy who believes he’s a savior” angle. That’s a really powerful psychological hook.
I also like the international element and how the conflict follows Anna back home it keeps the story active instead of contained.
One thing that could make this blurb even more impactful is tightening the flow and sharpening the emotional hook at the beginning. Right now, the core tension is there, but it could hit even harder with a slightly more focused structure and a clearer sense of urgency.
For example, emphasizing Anna’s internal conflict fear vs responsibility earlier could really pull readers in.
If you’d like, I can help refine this into a sharper, more gripping blurb that instantly hooks readers and agents.
2 people like this
Alex Silverscript thank you feel free to send any tweak suggestions. I’ve written so many my brain is ready to
2 people like this
I think this blurb might be too comprehensive; it's reading more like a Wikipedia summary to me. When I think about a compelling blurb, I think of the snappy hook, an introduction to the main character(s), and a core conflict/theme. You've got the snappy hook and the introduction to Anna, but (at least in my opinion) there are too many characters introduced here, and too many conflicts. You're risking giving your readers so much that they don't care enough to read the novel itself. For me, the human trafficking ring thread is the most attention-grabbing part of the blurb, so I would run with that - but it's your book, and you know the most relevant information to share!
2 people like this
I agree with Tess. I think there is too much information and too many characters to keep track of. I would do the first three paragrahps and the last one. Just change to something like with Anna 7,000 miles away from everyone she knows.....
2 people like this
i dont know what a good blurb looks like, so i read it as is i were reading the blurb off the back of books in a bookstore. i am just a sample of one. it took me far too long to decide if i wanted to read this book or not. i had to stop the urge to stop reading the blurb. i skim read it. what i remember: thriller, human trafficking, stalking. not enough information. is this personality development? because i'd like that [i am not typical]. is this like robert ludlum, because i like him? is it the twists and slow reveal which grab? or impossible situation? is it pulp and an easy read? because if its like ludlum id buy a copy to read on a long journey... i dont have enough information to decide if i want to read your book. my books are labelled philosophical musings about consciousness with ai standing in as analogy. noone wants to read my books. they know they don't.
2 people like this
google said: A book blurb is a short, persuasive promotional description (typically 100–200 words) found on the back cover or inside flap of a book, designed to entice potential readers to purchase and read the book. Its primary function is to market the book by acting as an "elevator pitch" that highlights the story, characters, and stakes without giving away the climax.... read that as you will. as a book reader i think it means giving me enough information to see if i want to look inside the book?
3 people like this
Tess Redman Suzanne Bronson Shamim Khaliq Thank you so much for your feedback. I took note and made changes.
2 people like this
Jill Godley do you have an updated blurb? I'd be happy to give you some feedback based on the changes you made :)