Kimberly Bird: Screenwriter in Halifax, Canada.

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a. No select start :D

Back atcha and keep working on that "heavenly" series.

Pedro, good luck to you, just be wary, from my experience the readers often have wildly different opinions over what a script needs to be better. I've rewritten 'sure fire blockbusters' with 'action sequences filled with wit comparable to Indiania Jones' only to find the next reviewer felt the action sequences 'were too long and boring'. BlackList is a great concept, something the industry really needs, but, in line with Trevor's comments above, readers are a difficult breed to get reliable results from.

Such great feedback. Very helpful. I've decided to forgo using Blcklst for now. It seems like a last resort for me. I've got some other irons in the fire, so maybe I'll come back and reconsider at a later date.

Another thing about "readers." You don't know if they're your "peers," what their credentials are. I personally know two who are fresh out of high school and trashed a script of mine that had been recommended for production twice. Still, I have been considering Blacklist for one of my screenplays... the one just mentioned. I guess being a glutton for punishment is a prerequisite to being a writer...

Kimberly. good luck to you. Stay positive.

Not reading now, busy writing, but maybe later.

I'm still reading (I'd go faster, but life is getting in the way) and you do a great job of building suspense. I will message you with additional comments when I'm through. Good job.

My opinion is if the story is just a tool to display violence than it is a slasher. If the violence is a tool to the story than it isn't. Best way to look at it is all the good horror esque films are always something else. Example: Jaws, Alien.

How important is it that these girls are shown as disturbed? If it's integral to the plot, then leave it in. Too much violence is the violence that is there for the sake of violence. If there is no meaning behind it, it doesn't serve a purpose in the script, then cut it.

violence when its only hinted at, for example in reservoir dogs where we only see the shadow of the ear cutting, its better to let the imagination of the audience than to have it explained to them, but you should limit it use, its better to have the actor portray the intent of what they are going to do, need to find a balance, look to Hitchcock the master,

I'm always aware of that quote from a Hollywood director who referred to a screenplay as "120 pages of suggestions"!

Yes - once you hand it over to the director, it's not yours any more! \O/ It's a framework, basically. :D

Great quote, Tom, which director made, it?

Oh my God, yes. Not only are they awesome for the creative juices, 48-Hour Film Festivals is just plain fun as well :)

Great suggestions, especially for those of us who are newer to writing but curious about trying our hands at it!

Intriguing.

What Laura said. It's like the different between, "I am going to take this outside, and shoot it." And, "I'm gonna take this shit outback and fuck it up." That's dialect. The same line, told in different ways. Accent would be more like, "Imma take dis shit outback an' fuck it up." ^.^

Woody Allen is great at dialogue. If you see his movie, people have a natural flow to their conversation. In real life, people interrupt one another and say things like "uh and hum." If you ever read his script, that is in the dialogue. Dialects can be difficult to pull off. As an actor, I had to do a Southern accent. Which is not hard cause my Mom is from New Orleans (Nawlins), so the dialogue was written naturally and I just added the dialect to it. I toned it down a bit cause sometimes certain Southern dialects are hard to understand for people who are not from the South.

Avoid adding accents in your dialogue if you can help it. If it's somehow relevant to your story, is integral to your tale, then fine, but you need to keep it as clear as possible. Don't confuse a reader.