Zee Alexander's Lounge Discussions

When I was in high school I came home from school one day and my mom told me that Harwar called me so I told my mom who has a thick Vietnamese accent that tell Howard that I was going to take a nap if he calls me back and that I'll call him back after dinner. So later that night I called Howard and he told me, "I didn't call you, dude." Then I said, "That's weird. I swear my mom told me that you called me earlier." Howard told me it wasn't him and that he had to go because he had a hot date that night. Then I went to confront my mom, "Why did you tell me that Howard call me?" And she replied, "I did. I did. I tell you Harwar call you." Then I told her Howard told me that he didn't call me. My mom repeatedly said, "Harwar call you. Harwar call you." Then I went back to my room and thought to myself if Howard didn't call me then who did? Then it dawned on me that I missed my Harvard interview. At that moment I was pissed and ran out of my room and yelled at my mom, "Why didn't you tell me that Harvard call me!" She said, "I did. I tell you Harwar call you." Then I screamed at her at the top of my lungs, " HOWARD is my friend, Mom! HARVARD, WAS MY LIFE !!! " So that is why I am an actor today and not a brain surgeon--because of my mom's English !!! (This was one of my stand-up routines at The Laff Stop in Houston, Texas. I would love to perform it for you in person. THIS IS NOT A TRUE STORY.)