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HILLBILLY MONK
By Andrew Dowling

GENRE: Comedy
LOGLINE:

An eccentric backwoods guru with no self-awareness tries to reconnect with his estranged wife and teenage kids while negotiating an offer to turn his backyard internet talk show into a docuseries called "Billy Monk: The Last of His Kind." (serial mockumentary)

SYNOPSIS:

In the pilot, we follow Billy Monk on the day fate comes knocking, as he wakes up half-naked in his father-in-law's barn with blood and fur on his chin. His estranged wife, Dee, gives him pills so he doesn't catch rabbit fever. Then she throws down the gauntlet: If Billy doesn't quit his backyard internet show (Brisket Wisdom) and go to his therapy appointment today, she won't talk to him for a month. But here's the problem – the only appointment time 'Doctor Paul' had was during the filming of Billy's show.

A documentarian named Craig -- whom Billy hired to record his legacy -- interviews Billy's estranged family members, Dee (wife) and Morgan (daughter). He seeks insight into how it all went wrong and makes a bumbling pass at Dee. Craig is also busy trying to transform Billy's vision of a documentary into a more lucrative docuseries. The would-be producer, Stephanie, threatens to pull out of the deal if Craig can't get Billy to go along and allow a 'balanced' telling of his life. Translation: she wants to make fun of him.

Billy invites Craig to his house to scold him for not doing what he was hired to do. Craig pitches Billy on the vision he and his producer have for a docuseries about the seventh-generation moonshiner, "Billy Monk: The Last of his Kind," and pleads for Billy to give him access. They strike a handshake deal (that includes an advance) over a meal of brisket and moonshine. But Billy won't sign the contract yet because it doesn't give him control of the clips: "I don't trust city slickers."

As Billy struggles with deciding to go to his therapy appointment or to prepare to film today's episode of Brisket Wisdom, he gets a surprise visit from a South Korean super-fan named Ji-Ho, who's just flown directly from his hometown to study under Guru Monk. Ji-Ho even printed his own pocket companion book of Billy's rural musings, compiled from past seasons. Unfortunately, Billy remembers none of his so-called wisdom because he's usually high and never watches his own show. Ji-Ho has to remind him, quoting the book: "Chapter seven. Verse one. The best time to salt your sirloin was forty-eight hours ago. The second best time is… right now."

Both the guest and his producer, Chib, are confused when Billy abandons the set during filming and takes Ji-Ho to that dreaded therapy appointment with Doctor Paul, who was a long-time contributor on 'Doctor Phil.' The first session is a smashing success. In a hot sauna that smells like a cheese cellar, Billy breaks through and finds something he calls a 'feeling.' He admits to a smugly satisfied Doctor Paul that he is responsible for pushing his family away with his stubborn, old-world, hillbilly ways. Craig crashes the party and gives Billy the advance he demanded in exchange for access to him. The only problem: Craig paid Billy using the per-diem from his producer, and now he needs somewhere to stay. What does Billy do with Craig and Ji-Ho? And is he any closer to having make-up sex with Dee?

Nate Rymer

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